Expectations are there to be CRACKED...what a ride

in Outdoors and more3 years ago (edited)

I stayed with my off-grid friends for a while and decided to take an easy evening ride to one of my best friends in Portugal. Was I really expecting an easy ride guided by Google Maps in an area like this? I should have learned by now...

Why do I want to leave that nice little off-grid spot in Castelo Branco? Well, the tracks became muddier by the day. With my camper van I had to be careful. I have ALL-TERRAIN tires from BF Goodrich, although my 3,5t camper van is not a 4WD. I've seen most of the area by now and my other friend needed some company. Besides that, I wanted to leave the area because of another story. I was busy lately buying some off-grid land, although the process didn't go that well. I will tell more about that, when that story is ready to be told.

Gear was packed, engine running smoothly...Let's go. I choose the shortest route in Google Maps and didn't want to cross the highest mountain in Portugal. It was a blurry day today, but tonight...what the FOG!? The visibility was most of the time about 5 meters. I was driving in the evening, so this was interesting. The route that had chosen became more and more challenging. It drizzled big time. Windshield wipers were on all the time. Although I cleaned them yesterday, the greasy stuff was making the visibility even worse. The roads were getting narrower. Hairpin bends, strong wind, no visibility, firm rutting in the asphalt roads, steep roads of more than 20 percent incline... I was happy with that huge bag of sour candy to keep my sharp. Better that drinking a rum sour for this activity. My responsiveness was put to the test even more, when rocks and big pieces of clay fell on the road. What a ride... Oh I forgot to tell, my eyes are not the best anymore 🤣 It's good to get sharp from time to time I guess.

After 2 hours of full concentration and no damage, I needed a break. The most used app here for finding wild / free camper van spots is PARK4NIGHT. It showed a high rated camper spot with all kind of facilities and with amazing views. You don't see that here often. The spot was next to a big reservoir: Barragem de Santa Luzia. It even mentioned 'hot showers'. Normally I jump in rivers and oceans, but I needed some hot stuff tonight. I had a look at the facilities and was surprised by the cleanliness. It's not too bad to have a proper toilet for once. You could even give your MTB a shower here, it definitely needs one to. I was excited for a long hot shower, all good reviews on PARK4NIGHT and the 12 minute option made me even more excited. Walking outside in my boots and boxershort...what a combination. Who cares, it's totally dead and dark here.

"Ok, 50 cents in the machine....wait...more waiting...fuck!"

Gone, nothing happened.

"Next shower, another 50 cents...Yes! It works, 12 minutes on the screen starting a countdown. Whooooooohoooo....finally!"

Well that WHOOOOOOHOOOO turned into a BRRRRRRRR. The water never turned even slightly warm. What a bummer.

I don't like ice cold water when I am already feeling like a frozen Magnum Almond. I washed my smelly feet and returned to my camper van. This was the 3rd time in 24 hours I felt screwed (#1 I was being blackmailed for a large sum of money, #2 I was paying 12 euro's for 3kg of quick laundry, so things are getting better). No hot shower time, means time for a bit of Social Media. I haven't been on there for a while. And as there is nobody to hang out with now, it means there is a bit of time. I should have known...all these Insta-perfect reels and photo's. Instagram is full of it. Everything seems like paradise and all of them are happy together with partner/dog/cat or whatever.

"I look to the right...Hello dirty BIANCHI bike! I love it when you're dirty"

"I look to the left...The only cosy couple in this van? 2 fucking wooden Alpaca's!" 🤣🤣

Ok, back to reality. Check ✅ I spend the rest of the time talking with my camper van.

The morning after...

Next morning I woke up, opened the sliding door and had a stunning view, that was even greener than my camper van. Good morning Santa Luzia! What a treat. I actually had a dam(n) cracking walk around the reservoir.

Why using the slang dam(n) cracking? Because I am not too sure if I would take this road (and the valley behind the dam) a lot. I walked over the dam and it was full of huge cracks. Besides that, amazing area. After a few hours I was reloaded and ready to visit my friend 1,5 hour driving from here. Something else was cracking now...my engine. Seriously?! What's next? It means taking it slow, up & down the steep roads. Enjoy the view and visit a good garage soon.

AT LEAST, LIFE IS NOT BORING 😆

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Although I already heard your story in person, it's still an intriguing read.

At least you can always calm down from your adventures and slow down at my place. I also have a hot shower and washing machine available for you plus a movie per night. The company is a mere bonus ;^)

Well that hot shower felt like a hotspring! In my experience there was even the smell of sulfer coming from the water. Hopefully that bath in your new place is like a hottub. With some craft beers from the bar downstairs.

Hopefully that bath in your new place is like a hottub. With some craft beers from the bar downstairs.

Only when the water is warm enough and you fart in it.

P.S. I am already looking forward to chillin' in your future hot tub but preferably with a woman ( or two ). You can keep my company outside of the bath(room) ;<)

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