It's easy to discuss boundaries with people and tell them respectfully thesenarw your boundaries, these are things you don't want around you or things you want around you, but trying to enforce them brings a lot of resistance from the people you set them for.
Setting boundaries can sometimes go end up creating problems for you, infact I would say 9 out of 10 times, people are not going to be smiling with you. You've created new restrictions for them around you and some people will get mad about that. They'll get defensive and upset.
The question you should ask yourself is if the people you set the boundaries for get offended when you set those boundaries, what does it tell you about them?
Boundaries can get very personal I'm well aware and have experienced some confrontations from people after setting my own boundaries.
You have to understand that boundaries are not meant to govern someone else's behavior but rather to govern what is perfectly acceptable for you. A boundary can be as little as asking for some silence when you're working or as large as cutting off anyone who continues to disrespect you. When I say cut of, I mean completely from your life.
These boundaries you set are meant to protect your peace, you own energy and your well being. It's a reflection of your needs and not about an attack on anyone else.
Someone's adverse reaction to the boundaries you set could imply that the person is one of the reasons why you had to set those boundaries in the first place.
When they're offensive because of your boundaries, their objective is to try to dodge honoring your boundary because doing so could threaten their role in your life.
That in itself is a big red flag you should not overlook. If somebody gets upset at you for asking for space or just for not responding to their demands as they wish you should, then that could be telling you that they may have been taking more than what they should from you.
Usually, it's either they have grown accustomed to you being there for them anytime they need you or they have deliberately crossed a boundary. By setting that boundary, you directly confront a dynamic they have been enjoying, but that does not make you wrong for setting it.
I've been in this position many times, it'll look and feel awkward at the beginning, you conscience will definitely bother you. Especially if you're the too kind type.
Most people don't like to be the villain in a situation or cause discomfort to others. In these cases, setting a boundary will usually trigger an angry or defensive reaction. That reaction is also evidence that perhaps this person is not looking for your interest but their own interest. If it favors them all the time they'll be cool with you, but if your new decisions go against the lines they could have easily crossed with you, then you and them will have a serious problem.
In fact, If they are guilt tripping you to get you to bend the limits you have set, take this as a huge red flag. Someone who is genuine and wants to maintain a relationship with you will never attempt to belittle your boundaries or needlessly pressure you into disregarding them, even if they may not fully understand why you set them in the first place.
They may ask you questions but never push you or make you feel guilty.
This post has been shared on Reddit by @princessluv through the HivePosh initiative.