The way I understood being useful was always to explain the complete details of something, to provide as much information as possible and demonstrate that I had carefully considered the consequences of my actions before doing them. When I sent a long explanatory WhatsApp text message to my supervisor detailing the rationale behind my decision, she sent me a one word response back, "Noted." I felt like a fool for trying too hard.
People become apprehensive when there is an absence of conversation, and when you are the person who is not speaking you have a greater power over the discussion on your side of the table. I experienced this phenomenon first hand at a team meeting when there was an issue I disagreed with, instead of explaining my concerns with a lengthy discourse like I typically did, I simply stated, "I am unsatisfied" and then stopped talking like I owned the freaking team, of course I did with with respect with pride and rudeness. The silence that followed was ironically deafening and before I had a chance to say another word, my peers began to explain their concerns to me, which gave me an opportunity to hear them out.
What is really interesting is that every time you provide your opinion about something, the more material you give the opposition to use against you. The more I express my opinion, the more I expose my rationale for supporting it, my worries and fears, and all of the holes in my reasoning. I believe very few people are able to rise above their ordinary or mediocre level because they exhibit predictable behaviour. I also believe, one of the reasons why many people in power appear to be smart or wise, is that they allow others to explain their points of view in detail without putting a label on it. This allows the powerful person to present themselves as a more profound person than they really are, it's power dynamics at the core.
I, myself, have a hard time with this. I routinely end up saying way too much and giving a great deal of context before giving my thoughts on something, to ensure my message isn't misinterpreted. But I am making the effort to work through the discomfort of allowing my comments to be heard without filling in the blanks. I think that this is perhaps the most important power, knowing that you don't always have to say what you know.
This post has been shared on Reddit by @princessluv through the HivePosh initiative.