One of the biggest mistake some people make is spending their lives making all the attempts to achieve one goal, that is to get others to like them, to praise them and to approve of them.
It's great when more people like you than those that hate you because having more lovers than enemies would give you some level of security knowing that the number of people that could do things against you is less.
The problem with forming such a habit is that it makes them act in ways that are not true to who they really are.
People want you to be a certain way, if you do it, they'll be happy with you, but what if that's not what's right or who you really want to become? Then you live in a discomforting way just to keep pleasing them.
People in authority have this knowledge, they control a system and they know that you need their approval, so they create a situation for you to keep chasing their validation. It's a rabbit hole you don't want to enter, because the truth is, it has no end.
Another problem with validation chasing is that, the moment you have a mentality of chasing validation, you end up giving others control over your happiness. You start to care more about being accepted by them than being honest to yourself, true to yourself and it also makes you lose confidence.
Interesting thing is, people can actually sense it when someone is desperate for their approval, the danger is if the person is a user and an abuser, they use your desperation for approval against you. You end up becoming a slave to them.
But the minute you stop trying to please everyone, you start to focus on your own values. That's a better way to live life, satisfaction comes through that.
It's not a matter of selfishness, no, it's a matter of self respect. Respect for yourself and your beliefs.
People that seek validation desperately are usually afraid of getting rejected and fear limits you a lot. Fear has stopped so many people from taking life altering decisions that could have made them better. The one you're seeking validation from may not want that decision, and your fear of getting rejected by them will stop you from making the decision.
If you lose the fear of rejection, you can speak your mind clearly and make the right decisions.
It'll help you make choices that match your beliefs instead of what others expect of you.
Of course, listen to people that want the best for you but also listen to your heart and conviction.
Having confidence enough to make your own decisions changes how people see you, they take notice of your strength of character and from the get go, there might be friction between you and those that you once sought validation from, they will feel they're losing their power over you.
Guilt tripping is one weapon they'll use to hopefully get you back under their control. If you don't fall for it, you will actually earn their respect. Speaking of respect, it's something that grows naturally when people see that you stand firm in your truth, (not your beliefs but truths).
You don't need to prove yourself to anyone, your self belief is enough. Being consistent in your beliefs will let people start to trust you.
The less you seek validation, the more genuine respect you attract from others and from yourself.
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