Link, what are you doing??!! Breath of the Phallus

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild got some amazing big map, but not sure if the devs are putting this out on purpose or I just have a dirty mind... Those stones look like something else fo sho.

BOTW has a lot of side quests that are really fun and 2 months into playing it, I don't even know if I'm already halfway to finishing all the side quests. Honestly, probably 30% or so. One of the side quests there is the love letter thing in Zora's Domain.

So basically there's this one Zora woman who was constantly sending letters to the river and someone sends a letter back too but they haven't seen each other yet, nor does she knows who sends them.

The mission was to follow the letter down the river and look who I found...

Wait, so uhmm... You're the guy??!

After talking to him, I told him someone is waiting there for you and that he should go cos it's safe now that I have cleared the path. He went and we met there at the Zora's Domain again..

And the lady he meets with...

...is a fucking kid???!!

I was about to get worried like whuuut aren't you too young to be dating this guy? Til I found out she's actually around a teenager or a young adult in Zora age. WHHEEEWWWWW

Of course Link has some lover as well. But unfortunately friend zoned... Or probably the lady wasn't able to confess...

And of course she's a Zora princess (champion too)... Only the best lovers for our protagonist.

She died tho. But her spirit gave Link some type of ability to be healed (by her) when he loses all his hearts so he doesn't die (duh).

She even made an armor specifically for Link!! And that gesture by Zora princesses are done to be given to their future husbands. Aaawww so sweet. But sorry lady, you're not the princess in the game's title so you're not that important.

I actually liked her tho, she's so caring and thoughtful.

The title is The Legend of Zelda so it was pretty obvious she's the love interest. All she does is cry tho 🙄 In the memories I recall so far hahaha.

Our boi Link is also a wingman. One side quest was to give a flower to this Gerudo lady because the guy is shy or don't have the confidence to do so himself.

...they literally just met...

like girl he can't even give the flowers to you himself...

...and you call it true love...

sure...

And apparently he's also a weirdo lol maybe talk to her properly first before getting hard on her being wet...

Went to the Akkala Ancient Tech Lab to meet our scientist Robbie to help us defeat calamity Ganon... and he wants me to show my titties out just to prove I'm the champion Link??? I can literally show him my Sheikah slate to prove it???

Yo grandpa maybe stop being a freaking creep...

Did that satisfy you grannie...

OMG LINK WHAT ARE YOU DOING

😱

Oh you were just talking to him...

Our boi Link dressing up as a woman to enter a city that only allows women... bro why???

Of course a freaking simp thinks you're cute.. Don't worry I can handle myself thank you.

There's also this one fairy fountain that you need to "unlock" to be able to release the fairy.

Their scripts are making me think of something else.

I swear the devs know what exactly they're doing.

Yes, our boi Link is definitely a mmmmmm guy. Explains why two princesses are in love with him. 🤤

Ok that's it for our BOTW dirty jokes for now. There are probably plenty of some weird side quests out there, can't wait to find out what they are lol.