Grey. That is how it felt. Like my world had been painted with a bucket of dull, cold grey. We had just said our goodbyes then, the kind where you know it is forever, to what was left of Dad.😔 And then, like you do in those moments where you're just trying to breathe, we went to a coffee shop.
Disposable cups, cardboard sleeves. Starbucks, doesn't really matter. We sat there, round table, too small for the weight of what we were carrying. Just staring. Trying to find a normal in the middle of a huge grief.
I doodled. A coffee cup, because that's what was there. A brown round table, because that's where we sat, trying to hold on. And just a weird doodle. But then, I realized. That was it. That was the grief. Lingering. Heavy. Unseen, but there. Like he was. Like he still is.
We wanted to stay there, in that coffee shop, forever. Like if we just sat there long enough, the world would stop being so cruel and grey. Like maybe, just maybe, if we held onto that cup, that table, that moment, we could hold onto him. But you can't, can you? Life moves on, even when you don't want it to.
It is a weird thing a doodle. Just lines and shapes and colors. But it is more than that isn't it? It is a moment. A feeling. A goodbye, hidden in a coffee cup and a couple of ghosts (joke). And maybe, just maybeit is a way to remember, even when the grey tries to take over.
I know you love coffee so much Dad.
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Thank you for dropping by I might check that one out later Cheers