🤫 The Weekly ASEAN Hive "Hot Goss" #81 🔫 Banana Guns, Escape Artists, & Giant Corn 🌽

in ASEAN HIVE COMMUNITY2 years ago
Authored by @justinparke

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Greetings Hivers, welcome to the Weekly ASEAN Hive "Hot Goss", where I @justinparke dig up false ASEAN Hive rumors and spread even more, but all in satirical fun and support of Southeast Asian content on Hive.

♨️ WEEKLY ASEAN HIVE "HOT GOSS" #81 🤫

🔫 Banana Guns, Escape Artists, & Giant Corn 🌽

August 15th, 2023
featured authors receive 5% post beneficiary

img_20230805_183338.jpgby: @yoieuqudniram (click pic to go to post)

     BANANA GUNS are being used by street robbers in the Philippines to rob unsuspecting pedestrians. Most of the robberies have been happened at night, I assume because the guns are easily identified as fruit during daylight hours.
     However, after the sun goes down, these guns possess a very intimidating silhouette, and when poked into you from behind, there is no way to know these are non-lethal weapons. Rumor has it a few chef engineers have rigged these banana guns to fire slugs, but there is always a 50% chance of pre-detonation, aka banana smoothies.

image.pngby: @reidenling90 (click pic to go to post)

     One of very own ASEAN Hivers has successfully ESCAPED TO JAPAN, and found a very nice place to settle and make a new life. Space seems a bit limited compared to Thailand, a place already a wee bit crowded, but this gentleman is adapting.
     There are rumors circulating that he has already befriended several robots and learned how to walk in hardwood sandals. This is a lightning fast adaptation to one of the strangest places in the world, so bravo to this Thai Hiver.

image.pngby: @hivetraveler02 (click pic to go to post)

     Forget English grammar for a moment and allow me to say this is the MOST GIANT-EST CORN EVER, apparently in the Philippines. I am from Indiana in the USA, the land of corn, and happen to be from a popcorn farm myself, but we have nothing like this where I live.
     This giant corn grows directly out of the ground pre-shucked and ready to eat, a major advancement in corn tech. Indiana has already sent several spies to the Philippines to try and steal the tech behind this new method of farming and/or genetics. Supposedly it's safe to eat, but by the looks of those cobs I'd be a little hesitant.

Until Next Time ASEAN Hivers....

     Please remember this curation is merely fictional satire, so don't take anything I write too seriously.

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 2 years ago  

To give you an idea about how out of the loop I am when it comes to slang I am just now realizing that "goss" means gossip. Get off my lawn!

 2 years ago  

Haha, oh no. Well, I grew up in a house full of stepsisters, so I know all kinds of terms for this, "spill the tea," "dish bish" are some other things I remember them saying way back when. Well, on the upside at least you're not this old and out of touch 😉,

 2 years ago  

he called the shit poop! Hard to believe that of the 3 people that were pranking that old man in Billy Madison one of them is dead and all of them are at least 60.

 2 years ago  

This information just ruined my day 😑. I guess we are now the old man with poop boots, time for me to buy my first solid white cotton tank-top.

 2 years ago  

don't forget to buy New Balance shoes exclusively EXCLUSIVELY from now until the end of time.

 2 years ago  

and oh, I was wrong. Sandler is a mere 56 years old.

 2 years ago  

The banana gun looks really stylish, I've become a fan of it. But I'm interested in riding the corn rocket ha ha ha. Congratulations everyone.

 2 years ago  

While riding the corn rocket you could use your banana gun to shoot aliens 🚀👽

 2 years ago  

Congratulations aseanhivers. Continue to share your unique post here in Aseanhive. 👏👏

 2 years ago  

🙏🙏🙏

 2 years ago  

Hahaha .. Nice selection of articles for the hot goss . ;). This always make days . Cheers

 2 years ago  

Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for stopping by.

Thank you for choosing as one of your top posts. 😊

 2 years ago  

My pleasure, keep up the good work.

I will. Thank you. 😊

Yay! 🤗
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 2 years ago  

🙏🙏🙏

 2 years ago  

Thank you so much for including my post here, @aseanhive!

 2 years ago  

My pleasure, be careful with those guns 😅.

 2 years ago  

So sorry i miss out this post sir. Awesome pick and congratulations to the other selected hivers as well. Big big corn got my attention lol.