making a committment to lose weight is something that is really hard so you shouldn't be so hard on yourself for not seeing immediate results. You seem like a very hard working person and i think that if you just stick with it and don't punish yourself so much for failing every now and then that you will eventually achieve your goals. YOu have a lot to do between your family and job and will probably just have to admit that you are never going to have 6 pack abs again just like most of us as we get older.
But at least you are trying... most people don't even do that!
It's a year long goal, and believe me I already fell off the wagon for the 7 times in 3 months.