What's interesting to me is that both parents were around and given family dynamics, it was clear that he had the bad badge. It was only later when I started to understand how much worse my mother was in many ways and find the good things that my father had given me
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I think I can relate to that somewhat. My mom ruled my thinking, and without a filter or an understanding of how her own trauma shaped her perceptions, she led me to believe my dad was the bad guy. I got so many mixed signals eventually I didn't even know if I was allowed to love him. Suffice to say I'm grateful to live in an era where we're allowed to look at things with objectivity (once we're old enough to truly understand what that is...).