Hello Bloogers! Literally I'm not writing this blog to get your attention even not for getting sympathies. I'm just writing to feel some relaxation from this pain π
Please give me some time and read fully.
I don't know, from what point of view you will read this blog , before reading it let me tell you that this blog is about my life which took me 13 days to be completed.
Three and half years back I started the Study of Homeopathy in September 2020. I was regular student and weren't too great in studies, I keep getting all the lectures with sequence so my classmates thought that I am very studious.
It was 15th of December 2020 when I fall in love with a girl who just came Infront of me. She was my classmate we weren't know each other I saw in her beautiful eyes and I didn't have any control on my heart and mind. I keep imaging that we are a couple, a girl who was friend to both of us introduced us with each other. I got her number via our WhatsApp group of our class. We start talking on WhatsApp and my Love for her was getting more and more. Her Birthday date is 29th of March and I had my birthday on 10th of April.
I didn't gave any birthday gift to her but she gave me a Mug (I Love You were written on it), A diary (because I like to write poetry those days), and a Noval book. When I check that Mug I messaged her but she refuses and told me that her parents force her to buy that Mug. Actually her parents thought that she is buying a gift for a girl because she didn't tell them about myself. I keep insisting her that she loves me too and she keeps refuses. Sometimes she also blocked me, everytime I took help from that friend who firstly introduced us.
In May of 2021 she accepted my proposal and that was the day of joy for me β€οΈ. She was very obedient and ask me that I should send a marriage proposal to her home with my parents and guess what?
I accepted that, I talked to my family and convince them to go to her home. First time when they went her parents weren't agreed with me because I just was a student (No way of income). I feel like a broken hearted person π but I keep trying and then after 3 months her parents came to my home to check out our way of living but they still not get satisfied and refused my proposal for the second time. I accepted that time that we can't be together at all but who knows what will happen I prayed hard all the time and God blessed me with my Love π. I received a call from her mother she said that they are agreed but they only give me 1 week for wedding. Firstly they refused me 2 times then suddenly they ask for marriage and in just a week. I thought that it might be a dream but that was the reality and who will allow himself to lost a person you want the most. I accepted and on December of 28th we got married by the grace of Allah Almighty.
We both were very happy and why we shouldn't.
After exactly one month of our marriage we decided to go for another marriage of my Older brother π. People were saying that your wife is so lucky who brings a new bridal in less then a month (usually it takes minimum of 6 months between 2 different marriages in our area). Suddenly she gets ill I thought it might be due to weakness or in terms of doing more work and less rest but it was hidden under the body. I got affaired that she was suffering from spiritual issues.
After 1 month of our marriage I left my home for her to take her at some other place where she can feel better, but I that decision were the worst of my life. I went to many persons for her to let her free from thses spiritual issues but all was in vain. She was getting weaker than weaker, at one stage she was unable to eat or drink anything π. We just spent 8 months together and on exact date of our marriage 28th in August she died with unforgettable moments for me.
It took almost 4 months to get back to normal life for me. I bought new mobile phone and opened all of my accounts I had our photos in Google Photos and in Snapchat too which keeps reminding me of her. And that was more hurtful to get back to normal life π few days ago I deleted all of her photos because my mood swings with a bit of time and after getting notifications from Google Photos and via Snapchat about last year which reminds me to see the pictures when we were together and very happy my mood gets off.
From this 1st of January I am trying to get myself into normal life and I am doing well enough even after spending almost 4 months in heavy pain.
We all know that we can not forget the person who we loves more than others, I am just trying to be busy in other stuffs so when I'll not get free possibly she can not be missed by my side.
After all she was infact she is my Love after losing her I still can't think to marry any other girl and I definitely will not. I live for her, I'll keep remembering her in my heart without getting pain, because I hope she is safe and secure now in heaven β€οΈ.
May Allah grant her peace in heaven.
That's all, that's how my life is going on with critical thoughts and that's how I'm feeling.
Our condolences to you and your family. May you heal and find peace despite all the things that happened.
Thank you for feeling my pain! And thank you for your kind words
Hi. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure she is in a better place now. Losing someone special is really hard but give it time. Grieving is a process. They say, time heals everything. For now, try to finds ways or activities that can divert your attention to help you move on. May you find healing, peace and happiness within.π
I am trying, and yes everything is possible but forgetting someone who had a special place in your heart is Very hard, it's more then of 8 months now still trying to move on :(