This story is ringing bells for me, but my memory isn't good enough to recall the previous account in recalling from.
That's ok, I just wanted to say your support is always appreciated <3
I have a friend who had to make a similar decision. Luckily for only a year. Her father's words at the time were, something along the lines of: He's never hurt the boys, but if you stay, I won't have a daughter any more. He can't care for them, so he'll give you custody soon enough.
Sorry for your friend and her children. I'm glad it worked out for them. A year is a lost year, and must have been terribly hard on them as well, but at least it didn't take many years for him to give up. I'm happy for them.
My boyfriend was the one that mentioned something similar at the time when I was a hot mess drowning in misery. He used to say that I might be surprised rather sooner than later for him to reach out and "giving them back". In the end his intentions had nothing to do with wanting to raise them and being the better party, he was part of their life even when I was locked up in the shelter with code red. I never, ever, even when I should have, left him out. As I felt they needed their father too, despite what he did to me.
Unfortunately, this never happened until now and I know from my mother that they can't even mention me. He's never left them alone with her anymore, so she can't even speak freely about her daughter, their mother because he will not allow it. For all I know, they think I'm dead. My mother is too scared that he will cut her out completely, so she won't step up, just like his own family.
Many reasons for them to do so, a lot went down, also on their behalf, but everyone refrained from truly stepping up at some point. Which is painful, I did the exact opposite when he left me with the children the first time, and allowed all his family members inside my home whenever they wanted to see the children, while he ghosted his own family and children at the same time.
I hope that one day you can tell your story to your children. I now understand why you moved during such unsettled times as we have now. Hopefully it's on-wards and upwards from now on.
I hope so too, if not, at least I will be able to write about them on this account so the story at least continues to exist, because to me it felt like they'd think the story died when my old account was abandoned, and I want them to at least be able to see that they are still in my mind and heart, and that I didn't just leave for fun.
The moving is something we need to, we moved here as it was the best option we had at the time, financially, as I had a bit of bad luck in Spain when we tried to settle there (this was where we went to the first place). We were never able to find happiness and peace here though and planned on leaving much sooner, but couldn't for several (some obvious) reasons. The time is now to take matters into our own hands once again to find happiness. When we lived in Spain, I felt home. And when we moved from Spain to here, I felt homesick many times. Not to my home country, but Spain. It will probably be challenging, but we'll make it!
Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment <3
Sending you warm hugs. You are an incredible woman and your little one has an amazing role model in her life.
Thank you, that means a lot to me! <3