Yesterday one of my old aunts messaged me, she was checking with me when I will be visiting her town and meet her. She stays in the same city where my sister and mom stay. My whole maternal family stays in the same city Ahmedabad. It is quite a distance from Mumbai, by train it takes 7 hours. It's not very convenient for me to visit often. When I travel to India, it is always for a short duration and I have so many things to catch up on so making this visit is difficult. My mom comes and stays with me for 3 months in a year so that all the more relaxes me to not visit that place.
Coming back to the conversation with my aunt. Over the years that I have known her, she has always had this habit of complaining and hence I do not like to make much of conversation with her. It's not that I do not want to be helpful, but there are some people who only complain and never do anything to change their life and rather do things to make their lives complicated. Her state is also a little sad as she has 2 daughters and her husband is also around, but she does not get along with her husband and her 1 daughter and keeps complaining all the time over money matters. Lately she has not been keeping very well and she was telling me that I should visit her once before she closes her eyes forever.
It is painful to hear such things and when people talk of dying, I am sure they are not in the best of their mental health. It is sad when there is a family but the family does not love each other and does not take care of each other. She was mentioning to me that she does not like to eat and she has become very weak. I cannot change really what's going on in her life except for giving her financial help, because what goes on in their minds and what mess they create because of that is beyond my control. But I was telling her that where her health is concerned, she has to take charge of it by herself. No one else is going to do that for her. Everyone is busy in their life, no one is much bothered. These are the sad but hard realities of life.
When children grow up, you never know how they are going to behave with their parents. It is best for parents to be not dependent on them in any way and be self-sufficient, self-dependent and in control of their lives as much as possible. Money cannot buy love but it will at least be able to buy things needed for survival and not make the old parents feel helpless. At the same time, I also believe that what you sow you reap. If parents have not done good parenting in the growing up of their children, then they will also have to bear the consequences because lack of love be it from whichever side and whichever stage in life is going to dampen relations.
My best advice that I could give her was that why cannot they forget all the hatred they have towards each other and come together, sort out their differences and live lovingly with each other. That will resolve all their problems of life. Hatred only brings pain and it just keeps making life miserable.
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I have come across such people and sometimes I wonder If nagging or complaining ever solves their problems.
I agree with you on what you've said in this post. Building genuine and positive relationships with people is a good way to live life. Hating and quarrelling doesn't do any good to people. You also gave a very nice suggestion in the end.✨
Sad part is people value material things more then relationships and forget what they can gain from love and goodness towards each other :-(
This is very right. Presently, some people are more interested in bagging material things, forgetting that they need fellow humans too.
Hatred and frustration are both very low frequency vibes and they do provoke illness. Good advice but it's all in her hands (mind more precisely) to act upon it. It's actually mind-boggling to see people decide to live on one side of the pendulum without being grateful and appreciative of lives miracles.
That's very true, and I also feel that the more you stay in these lower vibrations your whole personality starts shaping up like that and you tend to stay blind from all the goodness that life can offer you with love and compassion towards each other.
I think that's what matters in the end, holding grudges or anything else wouldn't serve us in the long run. Rather, it will just be a burden than wears us down. Building meaningful relationships with our family while also taking care of ourselves is one of the best ways to live in my view.
True, but people choose money over relationships these days and that's where all the mess is.
Yes, sadly this is case today. Many relationships have been severed because of it. We have to learn that money is secondary.
I have noticed something and I don't know if it stems from my own experiences with people. But when a couple are at constant loggerheads, full of pain and bitterness, they don't grow. Whether financially or as a family. A cheerful heart does more than reduce your chances at wrinkles, it makes things generally turn out well for you.
I do hope your aunt gets better and even if old habits die hard, that she learns to put a smile on her face.
You are absolutely right, chaos, bitterness, fights only attracts more of negative energy and then our whole environment also becomes negative.
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I agree with you throughout your blog. There are people that are our relatives and their presence does not feel good for various reason including the one you shared in your blog here.
Also, we are given this life only once and we should not get ourself trapped in unwanted things.
I always say smile and live this moment because it is only going to get over soon. Maybe people haven't understood the reason why we have been given this life.
I hope your aunt improves and get well soon.
How I wish if everyone can follow some very simple mantras of life, forgive, forget, Let go and move on. Life would become so much simpler
Never think about death. Because God has given us one life, it should be lived well. Hate does not work for anyone, it is kept here, so always be loving and keep everyone close to you.
Hate only brings pain to us and wish we all can understand that and live our lives
I believe you might at least go see her even if it takes 7 hours from Mumbai. We are trapped in our lives with mostly unimportant tasks when we do a step back.
Time will never come back.
Yes, I am going in August when I travel back home to India. These are things that I would not want to procrastinate on.