Thank you very much for your response. Getting into the water again was weird. I wasn't sure myself why I was doing it, but that's how it happened. One day I heard about swim trials and thought it would be a new start to a better life. I wasn't wrong, and I'm happier for it. The fear never left me, though, and that's what surprises me. It's how I looked at things afterward that changed.
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As long as you are happy doing this, it's okay
Oh, that is very surprising. But since your perspective of things changed, it is also good.
It is what has surprised me the most. All my ailments haven't left since I jumped in there. They have just quieted, but I know they are there. It's a constant vigil that seems like a daily chore now. In a way, I need that fear to remind me that I'm fallible. It helps me at work because I'm observant of my tasks. I can't even begin to explain it.
Lol
You don't even need to explain it
For as long as you understand the way you feel about everything then its fine
I am proud of you from over here