A couple of days ago I received a small box with a question mark on the lid. It had no return address and there was no one in the hallway when I opened the door. I was a little scared to open that package but curiosity was bigger than me.
I finally opened it, there was a website address. I got in and it was a tea page for an international brand. It said that I was selected to help the tea industry create the perfect formula for each user. I was surprised and very happy to participate in the process.
I went to the kitchen for a cup of peppermint tea, that's my favorite flavor because it feels like a glorious melody that fills my body with vitality. I sat down on my favorite couch as comfortably as possible and began to fill out the questionnaire.
The questions were difficult. They ranged from what is my favorite color? To which I answered green without hesitation. Hot or cold? I enjoy both in their own way. Alone or with company? I always prefer to be accompanied. I even found myself with the universal question: who was first the chicken or the egg? To which I answered naturally "the morning tea ".
And so I went on for hours. I think it was almost dawn but I finished my questionnaire and my fourth cup of red berry tea.
I hit the send button and went to bed a little tired. The truth is that I slept all day and when I woke up I found another box at the door, this time a bit bigger with a tea bag inside.
It was test 1. The tea that had been formed with all my answers. I felt like I was like a baby that had just given birth. And then I was amazed at how quickly these people moved.
On a little note it said try it and give us your opinion of how your day went with the perfect tea.
I boiled the water, made myself comfortable on my couch which is the place where I like to enjoy life's pleasures like snacks and tea.
I placed the tea bag inside the cup and the aroma it gave off was ecstatic. I reveled in that smell for a few minutes and forgot all my troubles. That was one point in my tea formula's favor.
Then I took a sip. It was wonderful and terrifying. It was like being in front of a mirror. I felt that the tea could understand my needs and could give me what I needed.
I left the house and went to the store, bought everything I needed and then pulled the cashier out of her place and in the blink of an eye I passed the entire line of customers and charged myself for my purchases. Everyone in the store applauded except the cashier. Another plus for the magic drink, it gives you strength and vitality.
I left for the bank and a guy jumped in front of me. I don't know why but I went at him, knocked him down and yelled at him, can't you see I'm a poor old lady coming to the bank. The guy shaking on the floor apologized to me. I had to add a negative point to the tea for making me aggressive.
I stopped by the hospital to pick up my test results, when I got out of the car a nurse told me I was over the handicapped spot and when I went to throw my car across the parking lot I realized the tea ran out. My anxiety went from zero to a thousand and I almost passed out.
I screamed and cried and when I reacted, there were all the passersby around me terrified to see a desperate grumpy old woman. I happened to see myself in the reflection of the hospital entrance door. What I saw was horrible. It was either me or a monster, I don't know. But I didn't like it at all and went home sad, upset and heartbroken.
I went to the tea page. And I wrote a note.
Dear tea entrepreneurs: I have tried your formula and it was amazing at first and brought out the best in me, but as the day went on it was able to bring out the worst in me and I became the worst version of me. I prefer to keep blending my traditional plants and make my normal tea. I think the world is not ready for the perfect tea formula.
The photos were taken with my ZTE Blade A3 2020 phone.
App: Canva / Giphy. The translation was done with deepl.com. Post of my authorship.
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