There is one thing I’ve realized about people, especially when they want to make you part with your money. They use this sort of reverse psychology on you, making you give your money to them even when you don’t want to. It could be for any reason at all, maybe you don’t have enough to spare, or you simply don’t want to give them.
Anyway, they do this, and by the time they’re done, you’d find yourself giving it to them, against your wishes. Once I realized this pattern, once I saw that many of them were basically feeding on our ego and fear, using our own insecurities against us, just to get us to part with our money, I got better at saying no. The last thing I would ever enjoy is being manipulated into giving money.
This year, one of my resolutions was learning how to say no. And also learning how to admit that “I don’t have money.” Honestly, with the way things are going in the country, with the amount of responsibility I have to shoulder every day, no one has any right to hold that against me. I don’t feel bad for telling someone that I don’t have money, especially people who want to take my money from me.
For me, I see it as a polite way of telling people no. This is because by bluntly telling them no, you could imply that you do have the money but you just don’t want to give it to them. By saying you don’t have it, you’re simply telling them to go find it elsewhere. But then, there are those who still won’t believe you. They think you’re lying.
One time, someone wanted me to donate to a project in the church. However, it was coming too late. The project was happening the next day, and I was only approached the night before, asking for anything at all I could afford to give. Despite the impromptu nature, I told them that I could only spare 2k at such short notice, but Madam told me I could make it 10k, which would at least make it more substantial.
Omo… I told her point blank that I don’t have money, and even the 2k sef was now off the table. She said that I shouldn’t say things like “I don’t have money”, it was negative, and I could unknowingly be surrounding myself with negative energy. I saw it for what it was, though.
The thing is, I’ve never been one of those who believe that there is power in the tongue. There only seems to be power in the tongue; the real power lies in the mind. It lies in what the individual believes. You can say something a billion times, but if you don't believe it can happen, you’ll just be repeating the same thing over and over again. You claim things and work towards them, that’s how miracles happen, and that’s how you manifest good things in your life.
So, saying I don’t have money doesn’t mean I’m never gonna have money ever again in my life. It just means that I don’t have money at the moment. Saying otherwise is not going to make my bank account any more buoyant. My life isn’t just gonna crumble just because I said a string of words, in the same way that it won’t magically get better because I keep saying only positive things. That’s not how life works, bro.
Once I came to this realization, knowing that what I believe is more important than what I or anyone tells me, it was easy to free myself from all those insecurities. You can say whatever you want to me, but as long as I don’t believe it, your words have no power over me. And I can also say some things, but what matters the most is what’s going on in my mind. What I believe. What I know about myself.
So, guard your mind. Don’t let a string of words be the driving force that makes people so predictable. It’s never a good look.
I totally agree! The key is knowing your worth and setting boundaries.
People may try to manipulate, but once you’re clear on your priorities and financial limits,
it becomes easier to say no without guilt. Protect your peace and trust in your own beliefs! 🙌
Exactly... knowing your priorities and refusing to allow others manipulate you is key!!!
I totally agree. If you're unable to realize that it's just a tactic to feed off of you, people will rip you off and there will be nothing to show for it.
It's always the entitlement for me.
Omo... people will always feel entitled to your money, as if they're the ones who put it in your pocket!
This is what I face every time people come to me asking for help. They feel because I don’t ask, then I have enough and the reply that I don’t have would make them think I’m lying but I don’t care anymore.
Also, the belief that there’s power in the tongue is very real, Bruno. That’s found in Proverbs 18:21. Meanwhile, in such case as yours, it’s better to say “I don’t have money at the moment” than saying “I don’t have money.”
I strongly believe that there’s power in the tongue and what we say is likely to happen to us but there are ways we could utter some words at the present so it doesn’t go beyond that. I am always careful when pronouncing some statement to myself, so I tend to refer it to the present moment.
I get your point, though for me, it's all potato Poh-tah-toh!
It's just like saying; "I'm not hungry." and "I'm not hungry at the moment." they both mean the same thing because eventually, you're definitely going to get hungry. As long as you don't believe it, as long as you don't identify as it, then the words have no power over you.
That's why we laugh at people who have tall dreams, but they don't follow it up with work. They want so much, but they're doing nothing towards achieving it. When you actually believe something, even subconsciously, you'd find yourself doing things that will lead you towards that goal. That's why belief is paramount.
They're simply words, until you choose to believe them and identify as them. That's when they get their power.
Hehe. I think say no to anyone became a easy thing for me. I don't hesitate to say so even it hurts anyone. In case of finance I am always strict and I don't give my money to anyone except some exception. I just refuse saying I don't have money. But some don't believe it and I ask those people to lend me some money from them when they meet with me. I ask money from them continuously and they start to avoid me let alone asking for financial help. You can also try it.
If I can afford it, and I feel that it's needed, I can help out. However, if I feel they're simply just trying to take advantage of me, then I'd just back off. Sometimes, saying no can just basically open up a can of worms that I'd prefer to leave closed.
It's even more annoying when you need help and ask for it, but people refuse to believe that you're broke enough to ask for help. It's always frustrating...