I believe one of the most profound things about us humans is our love for unspoken rules and codes. These are things that are not inherently wrong, but you’re not meant to do them anyway, simply because of the toes that you might step on. For some, it could be a thing of pride; they wear their codes and rules on their heads like a crown, and they’re always quick to let everyone know their stand.
But then, does it make people who don’t live by the same code bad people? No, because as I said, the unspoken rules are not set in stone, while they might not be ethically sound, hell, they might even be morally corrupt. But in the grand scheme of things, they are not something that would make the rule of law come after them.
And these unspoken rules are never really spoken out loud, you’re just expected to know them. And you’re expected to live by them, regardless of anything. In business, we have this “the customer is always right” that is always being said. It won’t be a crime if your client says rubbish and you correct them, that will not land you in any legal trouble. But it might cost you a paying customer. So, as someone who deals with clients and customers, you just know that you treat your customers well and pamper them properly, so that they will always be happy to come and spend their money in your establishment.
Just like with friends, there is an unspoken rule that a person does not date a friend’s ex. It doesn’t matter how things broke up between the former couple, or how cordial the split had been. What matters is that as long as it’s an ex, they should never go near with a 10-foot pole. Another unspoken rule is that you don’t date your friend’s sibling. There is just too much drama there.
Now, are any of these things I mentioned bad? No. As long as everyone is of legal age and is a consenting adult, nothing should stand in the way of love. But that is only for people who don’t care about blowback, because such moves will almost always create controversy. As an individual, you don’t go about telling your friends not to date your sibling or your exes, they’d think you’re crazy. These are not the things you come out to say, but these are still the things that you expect everyone around you to know.
But life works in crazy ways, because some people don’t have rules, or maybe they just work with a different set of rules. Some people won’t care that their love interest is your sibling or ex, they’d go for it anyway. They’d rather do what’s on their mind first and then apologize later. But that’s just how life is. The same values you hold there, someone else might be using it to play ping pong.
The marriage that you see as sacred, there are people who don’t hold their vows like that. They cheat with impunity, but their own code is that they do their best to keep it from their spouse. There are others that open up the marriage for all and sundry. Everyone is basically doing what works best for them.
So yeah, those are unspoken rules. It dictates how we live our lives, but we should also know that the rules we choose to live by may not be recognized by those we surround ourselves with. And this is why, as time goes on, we find ourselves adjusting and shifting, moving the goalpost every now and then. Because we realize that rules can be flexible, and if something is not really working for us, we move on.
That’s life.
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