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Hello Hive-Learners!
It's been quite a while. Feels good to be back.
How are you all doing?
Here's my entry for this contest.
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Okay, So this one happened years ago. We were all young teenagers at the time. It happened in church. You know how people belong in cliques right? We were four very close friends. Now, there was a misunderstanding between two members of this my friend-ship, something that should never have caused a rift. A mere argument turned sour. And these two refused to talk to each other. They just avoided each other. It was very awkward because we always sat together during services and had little chitchat after that yet they managed to not get involved with each other. The atmosphere was stiff. I wasn't buying into it as we were all visibly uncomfortable. So, I decided to be the peacemaker. I would go to one, ask what the matter was, try to talk her into settling the dispute, then relay what she said to the other one all to no avail. The more I did this, the more unyielding they were. Each one wanted to prove that she wasn't in the wrong.
Truthfully, it was fun for little me being in the middle of the whole fracas because looking back at it now, I think each girl wanted me to be closer to her than the other at that particular time so she feels she has support and doesn't also feel entirely lonely. Plus, during those times, they were overly clingy and made sure not to get you angry in any way. You just wouldn't lack company.
Meanwhile, our other friend (the last girl who wasn't involved in the quarrel) had taken sides with girl A. She was already getting used to the whole thing and just moving with the flow. I couldn't pick a side because I wasn't there when everything happened. I was only acting based on hearsays plus we three had been friends before the last girl came into the picture. Infact, amongst us, she was like the odd one out. And, it would have been totally unfair if I had picked a side. Truth is, all I wanted was my girls. Together! Teenage friendships are beautiful sha.
You know, there's a down side about being a mediator especially if you have to pass the information from person to person without both parties present like I had to do. The bad part is that you get to hear things that should have stayed a secret. Or not. Now, because each girl wanted to win me closer to herself, she'll spill secrets the other one told her about/against me- we cannot always be together at every instant in time and gists must flow somehow. When i confronted, girl A about what I was told, she'll either deny or/and tell me what girl B said. That's how it kept going back and forth. Ah! Never again!!. Because it now involved all the gossips they've shared about me, my interest was piqued so I keep going back and forth. Somehow I did not realise that I was becoming a part of the rift. I was gradually getting roped in. Some..true, some.. untrue, anyhow, I got hooked.
I was becoming a part of it yet I was trying to broker peace. With the way it was going, you'll be sure that reconciliation was far from us. It wasn't about who was wrong or right anymore. It then became a thing of ego. 'I'm sorry' wasn't even necessary to break the ice. All it would have taken was one girl saying a word to the other or even smiling at a joke the other said. But none wanted to be presumed too willing (faint hearted). I know this because personally, that's how I would be. Our friendship just seemed to move that way until...
One Sunday, during the Teenagers Sunday school service, I can't remember what our teacher was teaching but she made mention of something in the line of quarrel/malice and then I whispered to everyone's hearing, '.. like A and B'. Now, we respect this our teacher a whole lot plus she is a parent to girl B so I wanted her to step in on the matter as that will be easier. When I said that, she paused for a while, looked at everyone of us in the faces then continued teaching. When she was done, she asked me what the matter was, I told her A and B were not in good terms. I told her of my futile attempts at restoring peace, then she proceeded to ask both of them what the matter was. Each girl spoke in front of all the teenagers present. It was so seamless. Very easy to listen and understand. It was easy to take note of what went wrong and who was at fault. She asked a few more questions and that way, I learnt of my participation.
She went ahead to dish out corrections after every one of us had spoken without picking sides. She queried us for harbouring such resentment even in church. Notice that I used the word 'us' there because she brought to my notice the mistakes I made. She said I could have called us(my friends and I) together and let each one speak out in the face of the other. That way, we'll be able to vent and find a common ground. Furthermore, she talked to us from the Bible, gave some pieces of advice, told how well she admired our union and sealed it up with prayer.
After the prayees, we said our thanks, she said something funny, everyone laughed and the air felt really light. Imagine a whole mediator with a heavy heart, how would the quarrelers have felt? Things just got back to normal after that. It was really nice and an eye opener for me.
Honestly, I felt so bad after that cause i felt I stalled in making peace even tho I assumed I was doing it the right way. It happened long ago and never again will I approach issues the way I did. Am I even the mediator in this story?Being a middleman during crisis is not easy. It can be really confusing and tiring sometimes but when it all works out, you'll be glad you were one.
Hope you enjoyed this piece.
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Good-day!
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Situations like this are always tricky and most times it's really hard to stay neutral. Especially when they're both trying to win you over.
I'm glad you all finally got to talk about it.
Very tricky!. Thank you for reading.
It was my pleasure. 😇
Indeed... This is why we have to always find common ground. It is very easy for misunderstanding to grow into something unhealthy and things can escalate from that.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
You get!
Finding a common ground is key. Thank you for reading.