Expectations Hurt: A Life Changing Mindset

in Hive Learnerslast month

Life is a teacher; as we live every day, we learn from our losses and wins. Sometimes the lessons come easily, other times they come hard, even causing terrible pains.

Some time ago, I used to be hurt because I genuinely came through for people, I genuinely opened up to people, and I genuinely trusted people. Sometimes, I even go beyond my boundaries to ensure I stand for them, but those people don't reciprocate.

A friend can come to me with a demand, and even if it's my savings, as long as I find the need worthy, I will empty my account and attend to their needs.

I can keep people's secrets for as long as it takes. The moment you tell me something and mention that it's a secret, I never tamper with it.

But the same people, when it is time to come through for me, when it is time to eat of the fruits of the labor I have done in their lives, they betray me.

Most of you have had this kind of experience before. You trusted someone, and you shared what you are going through with them, only to hear it from another person.

A lot of people are facing this exact challenge, and unfortunately, some, out of pain, hardened their hearts and became cold towards people.

I consider myself lucky because instead of life turning me into a cold-hearted person due to consistent betrayal, it taught me a valuable lesson that “you won't always get a good reward for being kind to people.”

When I finally learned that lesson, my life changed. I reckon that the day we stop expecting people to treat us nicely simply because we are kind to them is the day we will finally emancipate ourselves from pain.

The hearts of people are not the same as yours. You may give them kindness, and they will give you the opposite, but that doesn't mean we should be mean towards them; instead, we should have it at the back of our hearts that whatever we are doing for anyone, whether family or friends, it is a sacrifice and it may not necessarily be rewarded.

This way, you terminate the room for expectations, whether the person appreciates you or not, you don't care. On your end, you know you just extended an act of kindness to another, and that is all.

With this consciousness or state of mind, you don't need anyone to tell you never to give out what you are not gifting. Whether it is material or immaterial things, before you give it out, ensure it is something you are giving out freely with zero expectations, else do not do it.

I have been using this principle for quite some time, and it has been very effective. I no longer care whether people whom I did good to reciprocate or not.

Whenever I do something for anyone, in my heart, it is a gift; sometimes, even if you don't tell me “thank you,” I don't mind. I know that I just helped, and that help could have been given to anyone.

So, whether people pay for my kindness with nice gestures or not, I really don't care. My heart is fulfilled because I was able to come through for my fellow human being, and your appreciation or subsequent reward isn't really important.


N.B: All Images Were Generated By Gemini AI


Tha
nks For Reading

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This is a nice write up. Some times kind people are being taken for granted and a fool meanwhile, we just have a large heart.
May God continue to keep us from people who will turn our kindness against us.

 last month  

Seriously, kind people are mostly taken for granted. One just need to know how to balance kindness with wisdom

Yes, exactly. Balancing kindness with wisdom.

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 last month  

Sometimes really we just do nice others and in return we get nothing and if we expect to get something then it really hurts

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 last month  

Expectations hurts, zeroing our minds from getting good treatments in return will take us a long way

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 last month  

Yeah, it always good to help others . Thanks for sharing.