I was discussing with a friend yesterday and she was telling me how she finds it very difficult to trust men when it comes to relationships due to how she experienced numerous heart breaks from men who assured her that she was safe with them.
As it stands, she sees every man as a liar and just any suspicious move she gets, she loses interest. She has just been overly tough towards men lately. Currently, she wants to change but it seems it has become a trait in her.
The problem with hurt is not healing. At most, three to four weeks, we will be better and subsequently move on but oftentimes it leaves an indelible mark that takes a lifetime to erase.
For most people the reason why they have created certain characters and treated people the way they do is due to the experience they had with others.
In an attempt to protect themselves and avoid falling victim to the same experience, they toughen up and become entirely different, treating everyone that comes their way as though they have the same intentions with the person who once caused them pain.
I can't count how many times I had to sit people in relationships down and counsel them to let go of their past experiences and not allow it ruin their current life.
I know it is difficult to heal and not try to protect ourselves after a bad experience but we do not need to keep dwelling in the past by assuming that everyone has the tendency to do the same thing to us. Yes, we should be careful but with wisdom.
Sometimes in relationships these pains and hurts appear as insecurities but it ought not to be so.
Our past is gone, it's unfortunate that we had whatever experience we had but we don't have to keep carrying around and punishing those who genuinely care about us with it.
Some people, just because someone they once trusted betrayed them, they see everyone as a potential betrayer.
Whatever you do, you can never earn their trust. They will be monitoring you closely just to see you make a slight mistake for them to jump into conclusions.
I understand that it is not easy to let go of hurt, but it's also not easy to keep them. The disadvantages are enormous. You might think that you are being careful by using your experience to judge everyone, not knowing that you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to keep the right people in your life.
Everyone is looking for people who would add value to their lives and give them happiness, in a situation where all they get is pain from you as a result of your previous experiences, trust me, it won't take so long before they leave or place you in an insignificant position.
It is very wrong to pass trauma from past experiences to others, whatever you may have experienced in the past should be left in the past, give everybody you meet a fresh page to write their story and never bring your past into it.
They were not the ones that hurt you or gave you a bad experience, treat them right and allow them to prove themselves.
Anyone who hurts people because of their past is a terrible person, and I think they should be held accountable for their actions. Whatever the case may be, they should face the consequences.
N.B: All Images Were Generated By Meta AI
Congratulations @emreal! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)
Your next target is to reach 110000 upvotes.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out our last posts:
That is the crazy thing about going through a traumatic experience, such people would judge anyone without even caring to know more about them. This is why we have lot of broken relationship because both partners are not capable of trusting each other.
Seriously, it's why most relationships don't last. The annoying part is that most people don't even know it is wrong