In our country, unlike in western culture, we don't usually leave the family to live on our own in our teens. Not even till our mid-twenties in most cases.
And most cases we can not leave, even if we want to because there are no opportunities for part-time jobs here.
Hence, until you are a fully graduate, it's extremely hard to get a job. If you are in the capital city, then perhaps you can manage something but still, the chances are fewer.
We have got no choice but to live with the family (even if sometimes we desire not to) until graduation.
Comfortable living, eating, a mother taking care of all of your shits from laundry to food sure is flexible for a life to have.
For me, I had never had the luxury to be comfortable or like my home!
I'd got the chance to study in the capital city but I was forced to proceed with the second choice which is my city, where I live with my family.
I wonder if I had proceeded with the first choice and set off to live on my own, would life be different?
I had left home for the first time ever, when I was a fully graduate and finished my internship as well.
I have been extremely aspired to the idea of flying off from the nest for approximately a life time.
Not everyone's home is HOME for them.
I am one of that unfortunate people who has never belonged to a home.
I had been longing for leaving.
And that opportunity appeared when I was finally offered a full-time job.
I had no idea whatsoever about how to live alone, taking care of everything all by myself while being in a full-time job.
The job was way too far, in a remote place that takes 24-28 hours consecutive bus journey!
Never in my life ever I had cooked. Not even plain rice!
I didn’t have any notion of where or how to search for an apartment.
Full of the excitement of new life, apprehension of unknown yet enthusiastic to embrace everything that comes along.
However, I eventually managed to settle down gradually growing fond of my new life every day.
Only those can perceive who has lived their life like residing inside a shell, suffocating, overly conscious, hating life every passing day; how precious every moment of living is on their own.
Normal breathing, laughing, and walking becomes a jovial element in life!
Not a single part of it was smooth, not even now after many years but it is far more incredible than that convenient life I had with the family.
Of course, I miss my parents, particularly when they call me, and say "miss you here" it made me throw away everything and go back.
But when I remember this kind, precious, angels of my life will not think twice to sacrifice me when their predisposition, their prejudice, and their taboo are questioned.
To think their own blood means NOTHING compared to an insatiable, prejudiced, conservative, prudent society wants, thinks of me matters to them more than a whole me.
They never give a damn about the very ordinary hopes and dreams of their child.
I haven't wished for much, trust me.
All we have wanted in our life to be treated as an individual, as a human, as a precious daughter, as an adored grandchild, and expected them to be glad, proud of my achievements instead of being obnoxious, resentful!
Alor Mes Ames, when I am "away from home" only then do I find it HOME!
My homes reside on the road.
Like Bryan Adams, I sing-
Is all I've ever known
It was written in the stars
One-Night stands, Guitars and bars
On the road again
Since I can't remember when
It's back to the music
Where I know I can lose it
On the road, On the road
I'm ready to explode
I feel a heavy, Heavy load
On the road, On the road
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