Hello Friends
Although white weddings and court marriages are practiced quite the same all over the world, traditional marriages are different for each people. Tell us how it is done in your tribe. We would love to know.
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I am from the Eastern part of Nigeria. Abia state to be precise. In my tribe, our traditional rites are really simple. So I will explain this with my own traditional marriage experience.
The traditional marriage rites starts with the "Iku aka" which means knocking on the door. It is believed that the door to marriage is always closed and you have to knock to open it. The man is expected to come with one of his family members. He may come with his brother or uncle or father along with his friends if he so wishes.
When he arrives, he firsts presents a bottle of hot drink and places money under it while dropping it on the table. This is what we call "ikwabu mmanyi" which means that the drink has been accompanied. The man is not expected to talk. His brother or uncle will then be giving the floor to explain why they have come.
The father of the girl will then call the girl to ask her if she knows the man. If she says yes, he will go further to ask her if he should accept the drink. If she says yes, he will shake them and welcome them to his house. In a situation where the girl refuses, the man will take back his drink and leave money for the girl's father.
After the drink has been accepted, the girl's father will proceed to give them a date for Dehu Dehu. Dehu Dehu is done for the girl's father and his immediate family members. This is where the man will come and explain to the immediate family of the girl's father what he has come for. This is like a formal introduction to the girl's family. While coming he will bring along two bottles of Hot drink, three cartons of small stout, some kolanuts, and a certain amount of money.
After the Dehu Dehu rites have been done, the next step is giving the marriage list. So the list is divided into six parts. The one for the women of the community, the one for the men community, the one for the youths of the community, the one for the girl's father, mother and elder brother. To collect the list, the man will have to pay a certain amount of money alongside a bottle of Gin.
The day the items on the list will be brought, is the day we call the traditional marriage day. It is expected that the two families will meet themselves officially. Even though one or two members may have met, it is assumed that they don't know each other on that day. The man's family will still have to introduce themselves officially and state why they came.
After that, the items on the list will now be brought out for the girl's family to see and approve. In some cases, the girl's family may tell the man not to bring some items on the list. However the girl's family do not have the right to alter anything from the community's demand. What this means is that from the father or mother's list, they can decide to tell the man to forget about bringing anything written for them.
After the kings men have gone through the items brought by the man's family, if they approve, then the man proceeds for the last stage.
The last stage is paying of the bride price. This is usually a little amount of money which is handed specifically to the girl's father. Once this is done, then everything is settled. To know that it is settled, you will hear them calling themselves in-law and shaking hands.
The girl's father will then call the girl to come and greet her husband and his people. He will then hand over a cup of palm wine to the girl to give her husband ( this maybe done if the intended couples do not have plans of doing any ceremony. But if they do, this will be done on the ceremony ground). Immediately that is done, they are officially married. It is believed that once the girl finds her husband with that cup of palm wine, she has officially accepted him.
If the couple decides to do a big ceremony, we call it the Igba Nkwu Nwanyi ( wine carrying ceremony). This is done in the girl's hometown. Everyone is invited to eat, drink and rejoice with both families.
This is where like I said earlier, the girl will look for her husband in the crowd and give him a cup of palm wine. The man in turn after drinking, will put some money inside the cup and they both move to the girl's father who then blesses them.
Thank you for reading. I hoped you enjoyed reading this content?
See you again.
All pictures are mine
Your traditional marriage rites are very similar to how it's done in my place-Edo state. Plus, you look really beautiful in these pictures.
I guess the bride price may differ.
Thank you too for your kind words.
You're most welcome.
Thanks for sharing a really interesting part of your culture!
Thank you for reading
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You look beautiful in these picture
Lovely
Said by a very pretty girl. Thank you dear
I couldn't get my eyes off your picture, you look so beautiful on your attire.
It's really simple indeed, thanks for sharing with us
Thank you so much for your compliment...
You're welcome
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First of all I want to say that you looked very beautiful and all your pictures were very beautiful. Many thanks to you for sharing your own traditional wedding experience. I'm not married yet. If I were to get married I would definitely describe my marriage ceremony
Thank you for your compliment.
Looking forward to reading yours one day
Ok
It's the gele for me.
It is beautifully crafted.
There is always something to learn about another culture and your post did not lack in its purpose.
Nice post!👌👌👌
Aww thank you so much i appreciate.
Of course there is so much to learn. I have learnt a lot too about other people's culture. There are almost same with a slight difference by the way.
Indeed!
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You look so pretty and great on the outfit
Nice culture
Great one
Oh thank You so much. Yea my culture is great. Thank you for reading