Unfortunately, I am no longer in touch with this old friend of mine who gave me this piece of advice when I was about to get married 10 years ago. She is an old woman whom I met in the city of Abuja, Nigeria many years ago when I went for paid training in my profession. I just graduated from the university and found a place where I could enhance my practical skills regarding my dental profession. The lab does a lot far more than what I learned at the university, so as I was learning and practicing, I was still being paid, but not much.
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In an apartment where I lived with my cousin brother, there was this old woman living with her children in the same building. She is always sitting outside for natural air; she is so cheerful and lovely. I do greet her all the time, and it wasn't long before she became my friend. Sometimes when I return from work, she will call me to ask about my day, and on one of those moments with her, I will explain to her what my job is all about and have many other discussions. I do spend close to an hour sometimes with her talking about life generally, and she could share her numerous experiences about life as a mother with me. Then, I was still dating my husband, and I told her about the young guy, and she wished me well. After 4 months in Abuja, my husband and I fixed a date for my traditional marriage, and that means leaving Abuja and leaving the job. I didn't hesitate to inform her about my marriage and relocation. Then she sat me down and said to me,..
Even in marriage,be a woman with your money. Do not rely on your husband's money alone, because tomorrow is pregnant.
I perfectly understand the simple but helpful advice she gave me years ago that has remained relevant in my life. It's common in my part of the world for you to see some women who, after getting married, will choose not to work again because their husband is rich enough to take care of the family's needs. I think many people nowadays do not have this mentality like in the past, perhaps due to the economy we found ourselves in, but I remember those days, when it was just common to see some women relaxing at home and be answering the "wealth keepers", jealously guiding their husband's wealth and commanding who to give money or who not to give.
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The truth is that the world is unpredictable. The husband you depend on may encounter a financial crisis or perhaps death, leaving you and the children stranded. No one wishes for such, but it happens.On different occasions, my husband wanted me to just stay at home and take care of the kids without involving myself in any other job or business. He went further to tell me that if I need anything, I should let him know. But then, that piece of advice from my old woman friend was still so fresh in my mind, coupled with the life experience she shared with me. It's never healthy to leave financial burden alone for the man at home; your respect may be forgotten as well, and in cases of financial crises, there may be no one to lean on. I took action based on that advice, and it's been a blessing to me throughout the years of managing my family. My husband only found reasons with me in the long run and was happy that I didn't obey his instructions of staying at home and caring for the kids without doing anything to earn from it. It was a matter of realizing the truth through a past harsh experience.
In conclusion, I see advice as a way of getting ideas from people or even learning from their perspective about life. Some advice we receive could help sharpen our decision-making for the better. It doesn't matter if it's a child, an adult, or even a stranger offering the advice; just pick the word if you find it useful.
The end!
Thanks for reading through.
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I think the mentality of not depending on others finance is very important and I think in case of women empowerment it's very necessary. In my country still most of women don't want to do something to be financially independent because they want to depend on their husband. But changes happening because in recent day I see some women are also interested in working and want to be financially independent.
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Yea.. there are lots of changes now.
Women are showing interest more and it's a good improvement
Never healthy to rely on anyone financially
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I agree with your thoughts.
Women should be independent financially.
They should stand on their legs.
It's not negotiable
I am glad to be that woman with my own money
It has saved me alot
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That advice was a very strong one, I am sure she said that to you due to her experiences and what she has seen. It is even very important as an individual to be financially independent. Life is very unpredictable and you can not always depend on people.
You are doing really well ma, the sisterhood is proud of you!😌❤️ God bless you, your family and your hustle.
My dear, you are right..she said all that due to her life experience and yes.. every one needs to be financially independent cos nothing is certain. We will keep trying our best
Good morning dearest
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A woman with your own money will
Pathways for you
Exactly 💯
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Being a woman making your own money is sweet abeeggg!!!! It gives you purpose and pride. Even after children, make moneyyy.. Just keep being fruitful. Some women say they like to be housewives. While I will never shame anyone for their decisions, I still will not stop encouraging women to step out of their comfort zones. The world is wide and interesting and every woman deserves to experience it
Yea..every woman deserves an experience.. owning your money gives this kind of value.. you will be respected too
Gone are those days oo 😂
"Be a woman with your own money!" That is the best advice for ladies in my opinion. It is sad however to see many who fail to take this advice because of one reason or the other.
For me, I can't drum this into the ears of my daughters enough. Every lady that is connected to me knows that this is what I preach, hehe.
My dear..drum it more
I have seen and believed 🤗
You received sound advise as one can never know what the future holds. You gave examples and indeed there could be divorce, long term illness or death and if ones affairs are not in order that could lead to a lot of misery.
If a wife decides not to work hopefully she ensure that the necessary arrangements are made. Then, if unforeseen circumstances occur she can continue to maintain the lifestyle she was already accustomed to.
Exactly momo
There are lots of uncertainties in the future, so the best is just to plan ahead and design the kind of lifestyle you want for yourself with or without a man
So sorry for replying late