In the past, there was a point in my life where letting go of a habit and a character was needed. I did that effortlessly, and then, there was a time I needed to let go of some friends and a colleague. It was NOT so easy for me looking back to the nice memories we have had, but when things got sour and I could risk my life if I failed to cut ties with these people, I had to do the needful: letting go for my good.
However, when it's about letting go of my family, then it becomes complicated. When we talk about family, these are people that love and care about us. These are the people that have our interest in their heart and would love to see us excel. People we have lived with for many years since our existence on earth, coupled with bonds.
Sometimes, they might be doing whatever they do, thinking it is for our good, without seeing things our own way. Their decisions towards us might affect our personal growth or choice in life. If you have been there, you will understand the big dilemma here. It's simply tough to leave them behind and also tough to dance to their tune. I will give you a real-life example to better explain this kind of situation and the way I handled it.
When I wanted to get married to my husband, my family said no; he wasn't a great choice for me. In fact, it was my mom who started it; she said he was just an a young engineer with no good job then, and she wouldn't let her daughter suffer in marriage like she did. Like a joke, she started attaching emotions to the matter, stopped eating, and kept wailing each day, saying, "I am about to make a lifetime mistake." And because my siblings wanted her happiness, they danced to her tune, except my twin brother, who stood by me all through the storm.
I respect my family deeply, but then, I didn't want their fears to shape my future. I will humbly tell you that I had about 15 suitors back then, but my heart clicked with my husband alone even though he had not much money but was a young engineer striving to find his footing. For a good three years, my family said a big no! It was so surprising; I didn't cut ties with them, and I didn't pack my bags to go and live with a man who isn't my husband yet. I knew my mum was only looking out for me, so I understood her and was very patient trying to convince my family to see reasons with me why hubby is a good choice for me.
My heart knew what it wanted; there are things I saw about hubby that made me stand my ground despite the no from my family. Their opinion mattered, of course, and I respected them, but yet, I didn't allow their fears and uncertainties to affect my future. It was three years of patience waiting for them to see what I saw, but today, I can look back and smile at those dramas.
I trusted my journey and was bent on detaching every emotion from family to affect my peace. At the end of the day, I didn't stop loving them but also didn't allow their love to affect my growth. Today, my family are all happy with the decision I took without dancing to their tunes back then.
Today kept proving to be better than yesterday for hubby, and the reasons my family saw back then, they aren't seeing anymore. No one cut ties; it only took us patience and clear communication to arrive at a better result.
Images are mine
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Wow, this is really a touchy story. I like how you stood by your choice and still respected your family. I understand your parents fear but I truly admire how you stood your ground. If it's another person they will feel discouraged.
Nkem, seriously, it’s so hard cutting ties with family because you would have to think it through again to make sure you aren’t making a big mistake; no matter what, family is family and we will definitely need each other but when it comes to all other things, trust me, even if we let them go, we won’t be bothered because it’s for our own good.
Marriage is something that needs to be taken seriously and I could understand your family, then. But people mostly look at the current situation of something and not see beyond and into the future. If a man isn’t coming up yet but still has great prospects of success ahead and not a lazy type, trust me, Nkem, things will definitely be good later. But I am glad you followed your heart and here you are.
But wait oo…is my eyes deceiving me when I read this part or I am seeing the real thing 🤣🤣
🙄🙄😂😂 you be fine babe oo…see as dem dey rush you then.
You saw it too 😂 Me I just said I should look away before
You forgot Grandma always tell her to pass main road and not shortcut
🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
I'm glad you choose your heart Nkem. Glad to know about your husband. You are looking adorable ❣️❣️
I learnt alot from reading this post.
Communication and patience is key to resolving conflict of interest.
You followed your heart and you are happy with your decision, that's what is important.
You communicated without burning bridges and was patience enough for family to agree with you.
Thanks for sharing 🥰
Hmm. We should respect our family members and consider their thoughts on certain things, but the decision maker should be us, not them and I know it even if I didn't face such a situation. Fortunately, you weren't influenced by them at that time; otherwise, you might regret it.
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Our mothers can be very dramatic at times and I totally understand that. But when I tell you some families are truly evil, believe me.
Some family members even kill each other over things that wouldn’t even matter later. Those are the kind of people we need to run away from.
It's really sweet reading this 😊☺️ but I'm sure it wasn't sweet when you were struggling with the whole issue then and for sure, your wisdom in dealing with the issue made everything go well in the end.
Who would wanna cut ties with their family even if it's filled with the type of mama G movie character