The word depression is very sensitive to people due to society's perception and stigma, hence they prefer not to speak about it. But it shouldn't be so especially now, with the way things are going in the world. There are lots of things that make one depressed ranging from; stress, relationships, death of loved ones, betrayal, lack of self-confidence, and more. It's a wrong state of mind that crushes whatever form of happiness that is left with you.
Have I ever been depressed?
It's not what I pray to experience again. I hated holidays back then in school because there was enough room for overthinking about my life. I have had longer episodes of depression due to betrayal; someone I expected more from let me down. I started having serious migraine and sleep issues; my head and heart were feeling so heavy. I had a mental breakdown and thank God my family came to my rescue. I was able to bounce back after some weeks.
When I had the breakdown my parents were so worried. My dad and my brother took me to the hospital where I was given drugs that would lift my mood. I became so happy behaving like a kid while taking it, I told my parents that I didn't like how I was reacting to the drugs and my parents told me to continue taking it.
I started having side effects from the drugs; hallucination. I was behaving as if I was on a movie set and was acting according to a script. It's not what I can describe, it's funny and painful. They didn't take me to the hospital immediately and when they did it became so much worse.
I was admitted into the mental ward, it was so sad to be in there. I started regaining myself little by little and I came back to my senses. I met a lot of people there and we shared our various stories of what brought us to the place. We helped each other stay positive there, I met people abandoned by their families for a long time, some have been there but still have no improvement in their health.
After some weeks, I was discharged and was still on drugs, the drugs they gave me for stability made me more depressed. There was no happiness in me. I had another episode due to the drugs, but I wasn't admitted again. They added a suppressant to my previous drugs. It was funny how it calmed me down and also made my depression depressed. I started going out in search of jobs to keep me busy instead of staying indoors.
I finally got a job and I was duped because the medicine made me sleepy. That was the moment I told myself that I had to do away with the drugs. I stopped the drugs and I was able to function better without it. Years counting and I have been better without any episode, though I am not free from overthinking I don't let it get the best of me. I try as much as possible to create happiness for myself and a new source of strength and inspiration.
Depression can severely affect the mind. It's okay to be sad but find what makes you happy and also distract yourself from dwelling too much on your problem because once so deep it's very difficult to recover. These days, I still get moody but I immediately pick something interesting to do instead of wallowing in self-pity and sorrows. It's crucial to share your problem with at least one understanding person because not everyone knows how to provide comfort. Try to socialize and and spend time with others Instead of staying indoors, it can worsen the situation. I hope and pray we get to a point where the world is free from this illness called Depression.
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