When we talk about self-respect, I'm starting to feel like it's a lot harder than we care to admit. And the reason I say this is that in order to respect ourselves sometimes, we have to stop ourselves from doing certain things that we might want to do, simply because doing it would mean us working against what we want to achieve.
A good example could be a pastor who's feeling depressed and would love nothing more than to attend a party where he could drink, dance, and just take his mind off things, even if it was just for a little while. Now he wants to do those things, but as a man of God, he realizes he has to respect himself and not do it because a man of God shouldn't be seen doing things like that. So he finds himself fighting an internal battle about if he should go ahead and do what makes him happy or not.
I remember my last breakup and the impact it had on me. My ex had called off things, and her reason for doing that was that she no longer wanted to be with anyone. But then not long after, I soon found out that there was another guy in the picture.
That period was probably one of the worst moments in my life, and there were nights when I felt like all I needed was to hear her voice to feel better. We weren't exactly enemies and didn't hate each other, but every time I thought about calling her, an inner voice would ask me to take whatever little respect I had left for myself and just leave her alone.
And each time I heard that voice, I hated myself because it prevented me from doing the one thing I wanted to do the most, which was to talk to her. But as time went on, I became glad that I had listened to that voice, as I soon found myself in a better place where I no longer thought about her and later moved on.
But if I'm being honest, that was probably the moment I realized that if you really want respect for yourself, there are certain things you have to sacrifice, things your body might want you to do so bad, but you just can't, all because of that respect. It most definitely won't be easy at first, but hopefully as time goes on, it all gets easier.
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I felt this, breakups can be tough but choosing yourself and your peace is always worth it in the end.