Children are the heritage of God, and it is very important to bring them up in the way of the Lord, as a typical Nigerian, especially a Yoruba mother, would say. Although she isn't wrong, children are to be put on the right path in the early stages of their lives. Whatever lessons they learn while growing up will form part of who they become as they grow older.
Image is designed by me using canva
It is the joy of parents to always see their children as high fliers in life. Nothing gives a parent more immense joy than seeing one's children succeed and soar higher. This gives such parents the pride to say, "I taught my children well.".
Coming from my tribe, which so much believes in "a good name is better than great riches," a child dares not misbehave. The Yoruba tribe believes more in preserving their family names than in acquiring riches. You will see them warning any child who wants to go astray not to spoil the family name.
Parents would always want their children to continue the legacy they built, the pace they set, and their way of life. Some would want their children to practice their religion and go for the same profession as them; some would go as far as wanting their children to dress like them; and some would want their children to marry like them, but are all these things possible? Any child who decides to do otherwise has become rebellious and wants to tarnish the family's name and image.
Parents must train their children in the right way to go, the good way to live a fulfilled life, but in the process of this, parents shouldn't forget that these children have their lives to live too. It is not so right to impose on the children, wanting them to live their lives the way one lived his or hers.
Children sure have different dreams, goals, and ambitions in life; their purpose in life must be fulfilled. It shouldn't be dependent on the parents; parents are only to advise and make them see where they are going wrong, not force the children to do things outside their will.
I, as a parent, would always want the best for my children, anytime and any day, because the joy of a parent is seeing his or her children exploit in life. If my child or children decide to switch from the way of life in which I brought them up, mine is to advise them, show them what is right, and allow them to make their own decisions.
Whatever they decide to do, after my advice and correction, would be their decision, and as a parent, the only thing left I can do is support them and not force them to listen to me or live my way of life. When they try their new switch and see that it's different from what they had known or more burdensome than the one they were used to, they will make the necessary adjustments themselves.
I noticed that telling a child not to do something is a waste of time; that would only make him or her more curious. Let him or her try it and choose which one suits him or her the best. A Yoruba proverb says, "A kin ni ki omode mo dete, to ba ti le da inu igbo gbe" (don't warn a child not to do something; let him or her do it and face the consequences alone). This is my pattern. I always love people trying new things, so I will support my children and leave them to learn the lessons on their own.
Thanks for your time, and your comments will be appreciated.
You have said it all, accepting the kids and the new path they have chosen will help resolve issues swiftly with need for chaos.
Hopefully
I agree.
I agree with you.
You can only force the horse to the river, you can't force the horse to drink water. After proper training, whatever the child decide to do is left to him.
Exactly
Our job as parents is to advise our children and guide them on the right path, to instill values in them and correct them if we see that they are on the wrong path. But we must let them have their own personality and let them make mistakes so that they have the ability to correct themselves, if they choose a path that is not the one we expect, and in which they do not harm others, we will have to support them and pray for them to do very well.
That's just the right thing to do
I agree with what you said in your first paragraph. Whatever lesson a child learnt while growing up will determine what such child would become. I am a typical example of that, also a product of what I learnt while growimg up.
The truth is, there is a stage children gets to and it would seem hard for parent to fully control such child. A grown up of 25-30 has the right to live life whatever way that seems fit. That is why one should train up a child in the way he should go so he wouldn't depart from it. ( I paraphrased a Bible verse).
Lol, you are right sir
Exactly