I have always wondered if behaviors are learned or inherited? Like it's a fascinating question to me and I believe human behavior is often led by thinking of our own. These traits seem to come naturally such as getting angry very while others are shaped by the environment they grow up in. I think don't anyone is born completely good or bad because we learn how to behave by watching the surroundings. It can also be gained through facing challenging situations, and making choices over time.
When I was a kid, those who knew me since childhood after my father passed away very early they would say, “His attitude is just like his father,” or “He carries the same league as his father” to be honest I used to believe that kids automatically inherited their parents’ behavior. But now as a grown up man who is married and already has two children now I can see the truth, it took me a while but I realized that it's not entirely true. Genes can give us tendencies of being calm and chaotic but if we don't act on those tendencies correctly then we can learn from our surroundings.
Let me share some personal stories from my life, I was born into a family where both of my parents always had strong values for honesty and kindness. They told me to respect others and taught me to not lie, it doesn't matter if it's a small one or big one. I was doing well until my teenage years, I got influenced by a group of friends. They showed that lying and acting tough is a cool thing. I eventually started to do the same and copied their behavior but inner me knew it was wrong because my parents had taught me that.
As time passed I already had lost the person my parents had taught me to be. So yeah my experience has given me a lesson that peer influence also play a big role in shaping who we become. But I have seen plenty of children who grew up in difficult environment and still became an amazing person. There was a boy in the neighborhood whose parents were very toxic and the father was often drunk, his father used to beat his mother because she used to cheat on her husband, his mother and father both used to beat up the son. So the other neighbors always thought he would be the same as his parents. But he completely was the opposite of his parents.
He worked hard so hard and proved everyone that he is not the same as his parents he always stayed away from bad habits, eventually he became responsible adult and has full of kindness. When I met him again I asked how he managed to do that, he replied, “I knew what I wanted to become and I didn't want to be like my parents” his answer stayed with me forever. So even he grew up in the toxic environment it's proved that negative experiences can also push people to become better.
There are some live examples where good parents raise children who make terrible choices. Most of my classmates had loving parents. But it didn't stop them from doing the bad deeds, they joined politics and got engaged with cirminals. It wasn’t because they were not loved or taught well by the parents it was because they had chosen the wrong peers and somehow got into the trap. They can not live the peaceful life anymore because they are now being chased by the police. See? Even the best upbringing can not make a person better or anything. So, I believe everyone is responsible for their own behavior.
So again if you wanna find out what determines the kind of adult a child becomes? Then I would say it’s a combination of everything like it could be family, friends, environment and personal experiences. Most importantly self-awareness plays an big role. Our parents might teach us many ethics but the final decisions come from within. So keep it in mind that we are not bound by our genes. As human being we can do everything we want like anything is possible for us so we also have the power to learn and grow. By our own decision we become the person we want to become. So, I don't believe our behavior is inherited, I believe behaviour is learned.
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I strongly believe that our behaviour is linked directly to what we see and watch to learn from our surroundings. The influence is always there; sometimes you might not even see it happen.
That is right, only a few would agree but it's the truth. Thanks for your time!
Thanks a lot!
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