Friends are cornerstones in our social lives; they are the people we turn to when we need support, during moments of ups and downs. They water our lives, make it lively, and in a way have a part to play to how our future will turn out to be. We are positively and negatively affected by the friends we keep, reason why it is important to select people who you call friends wisely and at the same time, know how to distinguish between acquaintances and friends.
Not everyone we know are friends. There are people who we have been introduced to, communicated with or even worked together with. They can be tagged as colleagues either at work or school. They are people who are just allowed to know the surface of our lives and not the secrets that we carry inside.
The aim of this post is not to distinguish the difference between acquaintances and friendship but to share insights and discuss the fundamentals of making friendship and maintaining them. I have some set of questions which I will be answering. These questions were made for last week heart to heart hangout of the Hive Learners community. So let us begin.
Beyond having shared interests, what core values or qualities do you seek in a friend?
I believe one of the things that attract people together are shared interest, but asides from that there should be some core values and qualities, or principles which I like to call it, in defining what we find in a friend.
For me, one of the things I look for majorly is a "goal orientated person". I love making goals, structuring ways I can better my live by achieving goals and making success. I like to surround myself with such energy and keep out people who are pessimistic about situations or life itself. I want my life to be filled with positivity so, I try to maintain my environment with these kinds of people.
Another thing I seek is the "fear of God or the love of Christ". People who fear God tends to keep themselves from doing negative things or involved in things that are wicked, evil or deeds that are bad. I don't want to get myself involved in such acts, so I make sure I don't get people who does not have the fear of God close to me. I want to be surrounded by people that will build my relationship with God.
How does your first impression of someone affect your interaction with them or the possibility of becoming friends with them? Do you have any experience with any first encounters that led to a lasting friendship?
I have strong belief in the saying that: "First Impression Matters" and seeing someone for the first time doing something within or against my set of principles to what I call friends will determine greatly on the possibility that we will become friends or not.
I can not find someone stealing, smoking, or doing something negative for the first time and still expect myself to want to have an interaction with the person. I will do everything I have to keep a distance with the person. Yes I make be able to interact with the person but the possibility of ever becoming close is dead, the whole relationship will remain at an acquaintance level.
Talking about first encounters that led to lasting friendships. Hmm, I cannot remember vividly but there was one. I was new to a school (my polytechnic) and a guy helped me out with my notes, asked me of my name and was quite nice with his interaction with me. It has been over 7 years now and we are still friends and still talk to each other.
How best do you think we can nurture and maintain a healthy friendship?
A relationship, regardless of it being a mere friendship or love relationship, is like a plant that needs both individuals to nurture and maintain its survival. One way I can nurture and maintain a healthy friendship is by supporting people I call friends and giving them advice when need be.
Most importantly all these cannot happen one way side, it has to happen from both ends. One person cannot contribute to a relationship and expect the relationship not to be draining or for it to last. I can only try to do my best or play my part and watch how everything will turn out without having to force things. Yes! I will never force a relationship to happen.
Friendships don't last forever. At what point would you let go a friendship, and how would you do that in a healthy way?
I keep people close only when their way of live still resonates my principles or morals of living. If I see that a friend's way of life is drifting from what I taught it used to be, I will approach the person, share my advice and then leave the person to decide what s/he wants to do with it.
If the person continues in that lifestyle, I will only reduce communication with the person and take the person back to an acquaintance level of relationship. We don't have to have an official breakup per say, it is not a love relationship.
Although there are many friends that I have now that we don't communicate as much as before and that does not mean we are not friends any longer but we both understand that we will be there for each other when in need and that we both have each other's life to handle. Life can be complex, and if I need them, I will communicate with them regardless of the distance and if they need me, they will do the same.
Most of the help I have gotten recently, and that have saved me from serious frustration and problem were from long time, old friends that we don't talk frequently. I value these kind of friends because we have gone beyond the test of time and proved that we can show of each other when in need so far it is in our capability.
Wow, truthful, I like it when my friend is positive about things and he has the fear of GOD too, in general, if a person does not have fear in him, the person would be behaving just the way he likes, people we called our friend should show example of the things we are capable of doing.
Interesting....
This is very true... If one does not have the fear of God they will surely misbehave. I so much agree to this statement of yours and cannot allow people to influence my behaviour in a way against the fear of God.
o.o a friend is gifted hands. gifted hands is the example of a good friend
Thanks a lot man
you're welcome TT. i missed the talk yesterday how did it go. how many people agreed with me cartoon is for kids D:
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Thank you very much!
A few days ago, I was sad and I texted one of my friends to pray for me, immediately, she called me and prayed for me. Not everyone has that kind of friend these days
I was glad!
Hmm such a true friend. I hope you are doing fine now?
Really true . Keep it up❤️
Thank you
😊