There was a group project I was a part of in school and one of the things we had to do as a group was to brainstorm and throw ideas at each other, weigh each other's opinions and everything that goes on in group projects.
During the course of a brainstorming session one fateful day, I was asked to chip in my idea about the topic we were discussing and I agreed.
I stood up so everyone present could see me and hear me properly and I gave my thoughts on the topic quite succinctly if I remember quite well. Everyone listened to me with rapt attention and when I finished talking it was obvious that everyone was going to follow up on my idea, all except a few.
After my speech I went back to my seat and someone (a girl) said something out loud which meant one thing, she intended for me to hear what she said.
"I thought quiet people don't know how to talk."
She said to the hearing of everyone present and I thought in my mind what she could possibly mean by what she said because it didn't have a relationship with the matter at hand.
As if she sensed my confusion, she went ahead to further explain what she meant.
"You know how quiet people are, they like to snub people and I thought you were going to snub the group leader when he asked you to contribute."
Her exact words..
I was quite surprised at what she said and didn't quite understand what she meant by the generalization of people who like to be quiet as snobs.
The group leader intervened and asked her why she'd make a snide comment like that about me, especially one that isn't accurate and her response was a shrug.
Someone commented that it's because everyone liked my idea that is the reason for her being rude and disrespectful.
There you have it, an unfair stereotype and I am not the only one who has experienced something like this, there are a lot of people who have experienced this sort of stereotype just because they decided to keep to themselves in public and mind their business.
Deciding not to chip in something in every conversation that is obviously not a concern of mine has been stereotyped as me being snobbish, something I am not and till this day I still wonder if people think that way whenever they see me. I do like to talk to people and I do have conversations with people too, sometimes strangers even, only when I feel the need to and I don't normally feel that need as often as others do which means I get to keep my peace and quiet.
I still don't understand how that should be a problem for someone.
That fellow group mate expected me to ignore the group leader when he expressly asked politely for my opinion in the group project, and I still wonder why she'd expect that of me or anyone else in particular.
Personally, I don't like such a stereotype and it really pains me when people assume such on the spot because as it is, there are outgoing individuals that are outright snobs and I wonder what she'd have to say about such people.
Stereotyping in general isn't a healthy trait or habit. It limits one's opportunities because the thought of certain groups of people behaving in a certain manner till the end of time prevents one from associating with them without actually putting in effort to get to know them better - if interested anyway - and find out if they truly fit into a stereotype.
In our world today, we have a lot of unfair stereotypes that people tend to profile especially to people they know nothing about.
Before you conclude that this is someone's permanent habit or trait, at least get to know them first before you make your judgement.
I've seen that most times people who are extroverts and outgoing have also been stereotyped as louts or noisemakers or troublemakers and all sorts of negative personalities.
It is not fair.
I've been able to move on since that incident and frankly, I don't really care if people think I'm a snob because I keep to myself a lot and I don't bother myself with what others think of me.
Which is the best thing to do…
To all those who have been stereotyped wrongly, my advice to you all is to keep doing what you do best - what makes you happy - even if it's being an extrovert and someone who likes to talk to people. As long as you don't fit into the box people are trying to force you in, you're good to go. Never let people's opinions rule your life, that's about the worst thing to let happen to you.
Do what makes you happy..🤸
This is in response to the #HiveLearners third edition of the weekly contest.
Thank you for reading..🤸
"Because you are this, you should do like that."
People keep feeling the urge to box people according to the limited knowledge they themselves have. Whereas, they won't want to be put in the same box and viewed as such. So unfair.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
It needs to stop.
Thank you for reading.