I'm never going to be a swimsuit model
Many well meaning parents tell their children that they can be "whatever they want" when they grow. Unfortunately that just isn't true. I wasn't born handsome and I wasn't born to be personable without those two traits many possibilities in the future were cut off from me. No modelling, no acting career and finding a mate was going to be a considerable challenge. Those things are obvious.
However, there are many 'hidden' disadvantages if you are not one of the 'pretty people'. If I go to court I'm not getting leniency because I'm handsome. I'll never be able to smile my way out of a traffic ticket. I'll never be able to sweet talk and win over a loan officer for a cheaper rate and I'll never get preferential treatment with a stores customer service. Even in healthcare it's been found that doctors pay more attention to attractive patients possibly leading to better healthcare.
Losing the genetic lottery kind of sucks. However, there is no one place where it hurt more than in getting a job.
Discrimination in hiring
Now some people are lucky and the find a rich person to marry and take care of them. No need to work! Just stay at home and follow your passion. Perhaps start a blog and make a million viewers so no working AND money coming in. However for those like myself who weren't gifted with those "beautiful" genes more than likely we are going to have to find work.
And its going to be harder to find
Remember how I said I'd never be a swimsuit model? Well the unfortunate truth is that when a person is hired by a company there is more to the job than just doing the work. Shocking isn't it!
Image matters
Yes, the employer needs you to fill forms properly or make your sales efficiently or take care of customers well or assemble a product efficiently. There is indeed work that needs to be done. The other part of the job is to be a representative of the company if you are seen by the public or in the case of behind the scenes workers...to get along with other coworkers and promote harmony in the workplace.
If you are going to be the face of the company, it is better if you have an attractive face. If you are going to get along with the other workers...well, pretty people tend to be more socially acceptable and tend to do better in social situations. Hire a pretty person and you are likely to have a more harmonious workplace. Now that could be totally false as beautiful people may be more entitled or just plain mean but the perception when hiring still perssts.
A tale of two teachers
Now I know a couple who are teachers. Both are good teachers. Both are highly educated. Both are attractive people. However, the wife is even better looking than the husband. The husband has even higher education than the wife. When they get the reviews from their students they both score well...but the better looking one scores virtually perfect. That's a constant source of irritation for the less attractive one because his lessons may have more content and get more education done. However, the students like spending time with the pretty teacher and enjoy interacting with her after school in social gatherings.
Is that really going to happen with an ugly teacher?
Sure, both teachers are very capable. They are both very good at their job. There is no question in my mind that both of them work hard and are an excellent addition to the school's team. The fact still remains, the better looking teacher would be the better poster girl for the school. Even when not on a poster the word of mouth from students means more people enrolling in the school...an indirect poster girl for the school.
It was funny when we were chatting recently. She mentioned that she makes money doing private tutoring via zoom calls as an ESL teacher. She read some of my work here and knows that I'm a capable English teacher. As I'm semi-retired she recommended that I should find students to teach. I do believe that she was sincere in her praise but the fact remains....students aren't likely going to enjoy looking at me teach them for 60 minutes on a zoom call.
Prejudice against the unattractive is real .
I'm certain that for most people it is subconscious and not a direct desire to hold someone's looks against them. I just believe that people are wired to see different value in the beautiful vs the less attractive.
Should be mandate equality for the unattractive?
In Canada it is illegal to be prejudiced in hiring based on many criteria: Age, Race, Sex, Religion and more. The law pretty much says to hire in an unbased manner. In reality I believe it is just wishful thinking. I do believe it is a good start but I don't believe it evens the playing field between candidates
Now when I went to the Philippines many years ago (when I was 28) I remember wondering what a job posting for a Pharmacist would be like. I had to laugh when I read the job description. The candidate had to be between 23-27yrs old (age discrimination). Had to be between 5' 4" to 5' 10" (height discrimination). Had to submit two recent images and be attractive and pleasant. I was too old, too tall, and too unattractive to even apply. Indeed at the time it was common for women to get a "leg check" in retail jobs to make sure they had nice legs for their skirts/dresses while they were serving customers.
Wow. that would never fly in Canada
In Canada the discrimination is more subtle to be sure. Anyone can apply and I'm certain that most employers honestly try to find the best person for the job. I don't believe that they make a conscious effort to pick only the best looking (or whatever criteria) candidate. However while I may not be discriminated against because of my race I'm unlikely to ever be hired in Richmond because I can't speak Chinese and its predominantly Chinese there. Even in Abbotsford where I live it could be challenging to find a job because I don't speak Punjabi and there is a large Indian population. I don't have the looks for frontline sales and I'm likely too old.
The employer would likely subconsciously think I'm not a great fit
Even if it is not a conscious decision to discriminate I'm certain that it happens. I'm happy that Canada has laws that make sure everyone can apply and be given a chance. I'm happy that Canada acknowledged that all people deserve to get ahead and work in a profession they enjoy.
However, I'm never going to be a swimsuit model and there are many others I would be passed over because I just don't fit the image. That's just how life is and its unlikely to change any time soon.
If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy
There is a fairly well known comedian who has a TV show in Canada called "The Red Green Show". The man isn't attractive but he is funny. Honestly I really enjoyed the show in the past.
One of the recurring phrases in the show is "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy". Honestly, it is a pretty good model to live by.
I can't change how I was born. I can't change my looks. It is very difficult to change my personality. I just can't change who I am. I can make sure I'm the best I can be though. I can learn skills to be "handy". I can make sure that I take some pride in my appearance so I'm always clean and well kept. I can work on developing my social and people skills. My road may be more difficult than those who won the genetic lottery but then again I'm certain the beautiful people have problems I will never even consider.
Regarding the questions brought up in the #hivelearners post. Is it fair that employers take appearance into consideration when hiring someone? No. Not fair at all. Should employers only look at skill when hiring someone? No. Employers need to find the best person for their business. and oftentimes that means there is more to a successful candidate than skills. If I could change the system that I would change if I could? No. Sure I hate an unfair system but... even as a customer I subconsciously would rather deal with a pretty and personable employee than an ugly one. As long as the employer considers every qualified applicant and hires the best looking competent employee I'm content. When people are excluded for applying or when a job is given to an incompetent person solely because of looks....then I get upset.
While I may not be one of the pretty people, I've learned that I'll just follow my path wherever it leads and enjoy the trip. Envying those with a different path is just a waste of energy. Sure my fight for a job was hard and finding a wife was even harder.....but if I can find a wonderful wife and have a long term career.....well, not being the first pick because of looks isn't a death sentence either.
Thanks for reading
and as always I'd love to hear opinions.