Greetings to the hive community and beyond. It's again your favourite Nigerian writer and today's post is all about "Friendship".
This post was inspired based on the hangout held on discord on the hive learners server. It is a weekly hangout where we get to share insights on a suggested topic and it's hosted by @starstrings01. You can find out more about the community and connect with Hive learners.
So while we all had turns talking and answering some of the given questions, I found myself asking several questions.
- Did I set the bar so high for my criteria when choosing a friend?
- Am I truly worth having as a friend?
- Should I redefine my opinion about friends?
- Should there be a best friend when you have friends??
- Do I have a friend?
All these where the questions I had running around in my head and I needed answers to these questions.
I was brought up to be a loner and the only people in my life were my siblings. I don't enjoy going out because everything I needed was inside even to go for events was a big struggle. I am not an 'aje butter' (a rich kid) but my parents were mostly not around and a strict warning was always given not to leave the house and not to have friends over (reasons best known to them). I guess this way of upbringing brought me to the stage I'm at now. A stage where I barely go out, a stage where I get to be so picky as to who I have in my life.
Who a friend is to me...
To me, I always believe that there are 2 types of people in this world, an acquittance and a friend.
An acquittance is someone who you are casual with, someone that only sees the surface of your life. Some call them work colleagues or course mates or neighbours amongst others. With these set of people, you only share the things they need to know and days can go by if you do not speak to these set of people. But on the other hand, we have the FRIENDS
A Friend. this got me thinking really hard about who a friend truly is because, this is one thing you should never get wrong in life. A friend can either lift you or weigh you down.
I found an acronym for the word FRIEND and I will be sharing it
F - Faithful (always there for you)
R - Reliable (someone you can count on)
I - Inspiring (encourages and motivates you)
E - Empathetic (understands and shares your feelings)
N - Nurturing (supports and cares for you)
D - Dependable (always there to lend a hand)
The above acronym explains the qualities and characteristics that defines a true and meaningful friendship.
Anything outside those two is useless to me.
So,answering my questions from earlier....
Did I set the bar so high in terms of having a friend??
The answer is NO. I observed from the acronym, and all that was shared in the hangout group that they are all saying the same thing. So I will say that my bar is at the right height and it won't be reducing no matter how lonely I might get. My phone won't leave me and if it spoils, I will be there for it by fixing it 😁😁Am I truly worth having as a friend?
Hmmmm, this is a question I can't fully answer myself. I said so because currently, I am not available for my people over here because I work after classes but if an emergency happens and I am needed, will I leave all I'm doing to attend then YES. Since I'm a sole proprietor of my business, my time of opening is solely based on my discretion but it doesn't mean that I have to attend to all the calls because I want to attend some functions or hang out. Asides from being always present, then I can say I'm worth having as a friend and if he/she doesn't want to understand, then I don't think there's anything else I can do.Should I redefine my opinion about who a friend is?
I might reduce some parts where I thought a friend is like a partner. Just like you get to speak with your spouse or anyone you are having a romantic relationship with, I thought that was how friendship should also be like but I think I need to remove that from my list at this moment. If I see someone I can share things with and the feeling is mutual then fine but if not, all cool. In someone's word from the hang out, "we are friends,not gay".Should there be a best friend amongst your friends?
To me, I don't feel the tag of a best friend is needed. I will give that title to my mum now and after which to my wife because these 2 will definitely know everything about me. I said that because if you follow the acronym when placing the tag of "friend" on someone or a set of people, then it is clear that all of them are equal. If you have a 'best friend' then I'm sorry to say that the rest are there to fill up a gap but it's definitely not the friendship gap.
I will conclude with the last question I asked myself.
- Do I have a friend??
Yes, I always thought that being out of sight breaks the friendship bond but I have gotten a clearer view of the whole friendship matter. I have 3 people that fits into this category met 2 of them in my ND and met 1 recently (2021).
I have a big role also to play in making sure we remain so and I hope one day, we become as we ones were or even better
Let me know in the comment section if you agree with this or not.
You answer the questions and share with us either in the comment or your own post.
Thanks for reading through. See you in the comments
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
Hey man! I reblogged your post so that I would not forget to comment on it. About this post, I am glad that you got to figure out that friends don't have to always communicate with each other. Constant communication is important when it is between you and your spouse. Like me and my gf, there is no day we will not communicate, and I must say she is the only one that truly deserves the title of 'best friend'.
I have others that I talk to once in a while and have been very close at some points of my life. I am sure these people are people who will turn up for me when I need them if it is in their capability to do so.
Great read brother!
Yeah your wife and in my case my mum are my only best friends and I have come to accept the fact.
Thanks for reading through bro