Everyone is going through one thing or another, and while some of us can easily scale through our difficulties and get on with life, not everyone can. In fact, some of these things lead to depression, which is a state of mental health disorder that can literally affect everything that revolves around the individual. This isn't a good state to be in, and I can say this because I've been there and presently I'm still there, but as I'm not comfortable sharing my story now, today I'll be sharing that of a friend, and I hope you'll not only find the read interesting but also learn from it.
Like I said, depression isn't a good state of mind to be in because it affects how you feel, think, and deal with things. It's a state of hopelessness, sadness, and a loss of interest in things. I've been in this state sometimes in the past and was lucky enough to get out of it all thanks to some factors, most of which were thanks to those around me, but since I've written about that experience before, I won't be writing about it again. And in case you didn't notice, I'm presently going through another phase of depression, and since I haven't gotten over it, I don't feel comfortable sharing it, and that's why I decided to share that of a friend I witnessed.
During my national youth service corps (NYSC), which I had in Yobe State, Nigeria, I lived in a Christian corps lodge, popularly known as a family house. Both genders stay in this lodge, but as it's an organization on its own, it means they hosted some activities that involved our presents and participation since we stayed there for free. To cut a long story short, I met loads of friends from different parts of the country in this place, and we all bonded well.
So along the line, like I said, it's like a church; they've got different departments like ushering, choir, prayer warrior, bible study department, and the like. In one of these departments, the person with whom I'll be sharing her story met what led to depression and had many people, including myself, think she has run mad, so I'll be calling her Busayo, and the other two people involved with her in this story, I'll call them James and Damilola, as I won't want to state their actual names.
So Busayo, James, and Damilola happen to be in the prayer warrior and Bible study departments together. I was a part of the Bible study department too and also a roommate to James in the lodge, and that's how I got to know about this situation. So it happened that James, during our NYSC days, used to encourage Buyaso in the Lord, advising her about life and indulging in personal Bible studies with her in order to brood her relationship with God. While he's just doing this to win a soul for God, Busayo, on the other hand, was getting a different signal or thought within herself that he likes her, and that's why he's doing all he's doing.
Truth be told, I personally know James to be someone who's passionate about God, and Busayo wasn't the only one who he has such fellowship with; in fact, he tried to have such with me, but at that time I was having loads of misunderstandings with God and just had to stay in that place because it's free and somewhat safe because the state was under insurgents.
To cut a long story short, Busayo fell in love with James to the point where she thought he did the same towards her, but she never spoke to him about it. Before we concluded our NYSC, James told me God revealed his partner to him and that the lady is Damilola, another lady with whom they're both in those departments. As the rules of the house were stated, he had to inform those in charge about this, and when he did, the lady was consulted about it, and she affirmed the leading of God on this.
To cut a long story short, their relationship was made known to the family house, and that's when hell broke loose. Busayo was angry; she called James and told him he's making the wrong decision and letting Satan lead him into the wrong hands. James was surprised by her statement and had to ask why. She then revealed her feelings, and he told her he doesn't feel the same way and that he's only helping her to God just like he does to others.
She was angry, but then I thought that was all. A year after our NYSC, James called me and said that he'd be getting married to Damilola and that he'd love for me to be there. I gladly accepted it, but Busayo also heard about it. It's been a year, but she's still obsessed with James, and then she started publishing different posts with pictures of the other lady accusing her of witchcraft and trying to keep her husband. I saw that and was like, What was the meaning of all this rubbish?
She was questioned, but she never felt bad about it. But after being counseled because it was the first time, she apologized, and then the wedding was held. After the wedding, Busayo went as far as buying clothes of the same color as the ones James used for his wedding. She then downloaded their wedding pictures, cropped out the wife's, and replaced it with her own picture. Then she'll upload it on Facebook, calling him multiple sweet names and saying the plans of the enemies won't work.
At this point, we had to call her family to check up on her, and they said they're also surprised by what's going on, so they took her to a hospital, and for like a year we didn't hear anything from her. James and his wife Damilola gave birth to their first child, and Busayo came out again to social media to start posting offensive words about the couples, cursing the child's, and the like. They threatened to get her arrested, so the parents took her to a psychiatrist hospital.
After they gave birth to their second child, she resurfaced online and was saying almost the same thing, still taking photos of herself and James as a couple, even though he's married to someone else with two kids. At a point, I had to call James and ask, Are you sure you didn't propose to this lady and then change your mind? He said he never did and said I knew what he did with her was what he does to others, and that's only to study the Bible together.
Obviously, we can see this is getting out of hand, and the situation has ruined Busayo's life. I mean, this was a fine young lady, a graduate of the university with purpose, and now she's more of a psychiatric patient who's delusional about something that never exists. The family of James realizes there's nothing they can do, so they just blocked her on all social media accounts and opened a new one so she wouldn't have access to their pictures for her mischievous post to defame them, as she has done on multiple occasions. I'm talking of something that happened as far back as 2018, and she's still doing the same to this day, while the person she's obsessed with has been married for 5 years.
Lesson learnt;
Personally, I think this is an intriguing experience that I would have found hard to believe was happening in real life had I not been a witness. So what I've learned from this is to always state the purpose of any relationship or friendship. Once you notice it's getting beyond casual for you, it's best you seek clarification so you won't be imagining something that doesn't exist.
Also, I think most brothers and sisters who are passionate about God and spreading his words should be careful how far they go in showcasing this love of God and the kind of attention they give to their target, especially the opposite sex, so they won't send the wrong signal that would cause any unexpected problems in the near future.
We should also not get too emotionally attached to anyone; love can still be found elsewhere. Just because one doesn't workout doesn't mean we'll never meet another person again. There are loads of better people out there that would love and cherish you, so don't be like Busayo and let one sad experience ruin your life.
That's about it for now. I hope you enjoyed the read. This is a real-life story, and although I use different names to protect those involved, do have a wonderful day and stay blessed.
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I hope you overcome whatsoever is putting you in a depressing state soonest and come out stronger.
That busayo case has gone extreme beyond depression, she's really delusional and needs to be taken a psychiatric home, how sad.
I hope so too, thanks so much dear.
Her case as gone out of hand and I can't help but wonder what really went wrong, I mean this is someone she only knew did less than a year.
Indeed this is an intriguing situation, till after five years busayo didn't recover? That was strong Bro, I hope life treats her better..