The Duality of Parental Advice: A Tale of Wisdom and Misjudgment

in Hive Learners3 months ago

Our parents are our teacher, our guide, and literally everything good one can think about because even at our tender age, when we knew nothing, they stood by us, nurtured us, and provided for our every need, including guidance and advice on what to do and not do. But as we grow up, we realize that not all of their advice was cool for our person, although that doesn't make them less of a loving or important person in our lives, and today I'll love to share two sides of a coin when I got advice from my parents.


Although I didn't grow up with my parents, I can't really pinpoint advice from my childhood, except for those that happened while I'm on holiday or when my academic results are out and it's sent to them to vet. Those were the only times I got their advice as a child, but going forward, I've come to move closer to them and draw from their well of wisdom, and below is some advice that almost jeopardizes the situation I got from my parents.

Advice that helped:

Growing up, my parents usually taught us to be kind and helpful to anyone we came across. To them, everyone needs help, and you on your path should do what you can to help. and such a situation attract blessing on its own, and I took that to heart and always tried to be helpful in any little way I could. I can remember one day during my undergraduate days, I was walking down a street, and I saw a woman who had a bike man just drop some cement bags far from her house. From their conversation, I decipher that the agreement with the bike man was that he take it inside her house.

With the way they were arguing, I wasn't too comfortable, especially with how the man abuses her. He said the distance was way too much for what he billed her, so I stepped in and told the woman not to worry and that I'd help her carry the cement down to her house. The bike man left, and some women around helped me lift the cement bags to my head, and you carried them to her house.

She was grateful and tried to offer me something as an expression of appreciation, but I refused to take anything and said I'm just trying to help and nothing more. Fast forward to 4 years after that particular day, and I was in my final year at the university, and I was told that I might have an extra year because they couldn't see one of my results. I was downcast because, although I had a carryover in that course, I've redo it and passed the course thereafter, so I don't know why such is happening.

When I got to the office, they told all of us about the situation and to prepare for another year. While that was still being said, a woman walked up to me and inquired about what was going on. I narrated my ordeals to her, and she asked if I'm sure I did the exam. I said yes, and she said I should follow her. She then told me to go to the office, where there were stacks of files, results, and a script, and she said we'd both search for the script or results together.


Believe me, it was just like a dream because I don't even know who she is, and here she's offering to help me. After almost 4 hours of ultimate search, we finally found the score file of my results for that particular course. It seems it was removed from the other copies, and that's why they couldn't find it and assumed I didn't do the course.

Joyfully, the woman and I walked down to where they're verifying the situation, and before you know it, I was cleared from any issues. I was so excited and just kneeled down to thank the woman. She said I don't need to thank her because I've also helped her at a point, and I was like, I don't even think I've seen you before, and she reminded me of the day I helped her carry cement to her house.

She said she never knew I was a student, but I was still grateful and thankful that the good deed lesson my parents taught me passed off and helped me graduate at the right time.

Advice gone wrong:

Since I graduated from secondary school and was in search of admission to the university, I've always had an interest in learning skills, but my parents, especially my dad, weren't cool with that. I guess, being a highly educated individual, he saw no reason why his children would stand so low to learn handwork, so he turned down all my efforts to learn tailoring back then. He said you can't amount to anything with tailoring, but education is the only key to success.

I tried to make him understand that I won't stop schooling, but his belief is that it'll distract me from focusing on my academics, and since he's my dad, I've got no one else to turn to for catering as a teenager. I had no choice but to give in to his advice, and a few years later, when I was in university, I learned about tailoring, and my dad, who doesn't want me to learn, brought fabric for me to sew to him, although he didn't admit his mistake, but I'm sure he knows.

That's about all the advice I got from my parents, and as you can see, some was helpful and some wasn't, but overall, I'm grateful.

Thanks so much for your time. Have a wonderful day ahead.

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 3 months ago  

Hehe it's funny how our parents don't always agree they are wrong, Am sure your dad was proud that you eventually learned Tailoring and some other useful skills.
My regards to them

 3 months ago  

Yea he'll definitely be proud about it, even if he won't show it.

 3 months ago  

It was until we started growing, close to maturity that we began to notice some few things which were wromg about our parents advice or perspective about a particular thing.

Chaiii... see where and when you later got rewarded for your help, in your school and after 4 years. There's so much good in being good and/or kind. I'm glad that she volunteered to help you as an act of appreciation for your help then.

I can relate to the part where your dad stopped you from learning a handiwork. My dad had a friend who is a rich man, he get angry anytime his children wanted to learn handiwork. But now all his children are living very fine with the handiwork they learnt stubbornly.

 3 months ago  

Yea that's true, growing up usually open our eyes up to all of this.

Chaiii... see where and when you later got rewarded for your help

It was a surprising situation because I didn't even recognize her and neither did I know she was a staff when I helped her, I guess we should just be grateful.

But now all his children are living very fine with the handiwork they learnt stubbornly.

I wish I had done same, but I'm still grateful for everything.

 3 months ago  

Yes, be grateful.

 3 months ago  

awwn still its still helpful, i understand why he didnt want you to,you know here in nigeria we dont have good legacy when it comes to learning skill, the punishment you would get from those ogas them, me i wouldnt want my child to go through that too

 3 months ago  

Yea that might be true, even though I'm the one who wanted it and despite the abuse I saw then, I still long for it.
But I understand his opinion and can't disobey hom.

Real definition of one good turn deserves another. One thing I've come to realize about life is that, people don't forget the good you did to them and the bad you did to them.

And as for the skill part, that God you learnt a skill. Because surviving in this economy with no extra source of income is never funny.

 3 months ago  

Yea this current situation need another hustle to survive, I'm glad I later learn.

That's great. Hope you're teaching others as well?

 3 months ago  

Mehnn.. That woman was indeed a blessing to you bro, thank goodness your kindness was in a full energy when she needed it, there is always a reward for being kind bro...
Our parents are kind of funny, they'll know they're wrong but they will just pretend as if nothing happened😀😀

 3 months ago  

I'm telling you, I wonder how I would have deal with that situation has she not intervene.

Our parents are wise and from them we will receive the best advice, however they speak from their own experience and I think everyone has to live their life with responsibility, we can not fulfill the dream of someone else because we will live frustrated and bitter.

 3 months ago  

Helping others is a blessings which indirectly return to us. Isn't it a miracle you helped someone 4 years ago the same person helped you after that when you can barely remember her? That's the reason we should keep helping others and your parents gave you the best advice.
In the second case. I think it was indeed a wrong decision.

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 3 months ago  

I'm telling you, I was so surprised on how my good act of four years ago came back to help me at a critical junction.

 3 months ago  

Skill acquisition is the most profitable now days which is been forfeited by our parent back then.
Every parent dream is to educate his or her child to become someone in life..
Nice story @vickoly

 3 months ago  

Yea that's true, I knew it value, even though dad didn't agreed.

Wow... that's a wonderful story... good karma pays and it payed back to you... I wonder if we do something bad, we have to pay as well...

I too believe you do something good to another, it will help you somehow...maybe you earn their goodwill, and surely you inspire others to be good and make others believe that there are good people in the world too, because most times the world looks bad.

I love it, when I find examples that tell me there is good in the world too... although I mostly think its bad mostly...but anyway!!!

Parents know somethings through experience, and offer wisdom, but many times they misguide, because they have rigid attitudes. Actually, even they have to grow up as person along with us, learning and correcting ...learning from mistakes but I think most parents are too stubborn, and adament with ego to stay humble and learn and listen.

My parents are, and a lot of their advices and thoughts are wrong, I see it clearly now. But anyway...

 3 months ago  

That's absolutely correct, there's still load of good in this world, though not much but we can still find them.

Most times our past act is what help us unlock it just like my own case, I hope everyone finds help at the nick of time.

 3 months ago (edited) 

I think parents are the one who find happiness in the happiness of their children. Although, he didn't allowed you to go for tailoring but see after some time he stood with you.