When I was little, my mom never found out that there was a contribution being made to support the needy.
She hardly even gave to the church, and with her being dedicated to the church, things didn't add up.
Even the people who always begged by the road and wherever couldn't get a dime from my mom.
Some people might think she was just stingy or tight-fisted or whatever they call it.
But people who were actually close to her witnessed her generosity. She had a few people she knew and was close to. People that she gave.
I realized my mom wasn't stingy but rather she was just careful with how and who she gave to.
The people she gave to were usually people that she knew, people that needed what she gave. For example, there was this security guy at our church who had nothing to do but like about 4 little boys with very little age gaps, and his wife was pregnant too.
I knew the man was uneducated and very irresponsible; he even had a problem with his only job as a church security guard because he was caught smoking cigarettes in the church.
His wife tried but it wasn't enough.
The little children were always so hungry and looked starved. So my mom started cooking once in a while and bringing food to the children on Sundays.
She made sure they had the food as she watched.
There were so many others she helped, even during Christmas and stuff, especially with feeding.
And now that I have lived in the real world, I totally understand her. We live in a world where trust and transparency are so rare that you can not even know for sure if you are actually helping someone.
Back then, she could've saved herself the stress and just given some money to the church, but you never know if the money would actually reach the destination. She could've saved the stress of cooking and just given the security's wife the money or food stuff to use to cook for the children, too.
But there is also a possibility that she gives her the money and she uses it for something else.
With a husband who smokes, if he gets his hands on the money, it wouldn't come out intact, if it comes out at all.
She was always so careful. She and her friend had a group that cooked for orphanages. And when they cooked, they made sure they distributed the food themselves and ensured the children actually ate.
I have seen lots of videos, even recently, of orphanage staff getting caught sharing what has been given by people who care for the children amongst themselves.
So I have learnt very well from my mom to avoid donations where you don't see the donations reaching the hands of those they are meant for and actually serving their purpose.
I know some people donate because it is easier with less stress—they just pay and donate, and then someone does the rest of the work.
But as for me, I would buy the food stuff, cook the food, and share it on plates with spoons by myself. I hate being deceived. And people who neglect donations don't just deceive, they are committing theft and evil by taking advantage of the needy, so I would rather avoid anything of that magnitude.
Your mom's reason is valid. There was a time my mom stopped giving amputees money because it was rumored they stole hence they were victim of sharia law. My mom's reason was that she didn't want to enable thieves but she did change her mind later on saying whatever she does, she do for God. I guess it gave her more relief to give without overthinking it.