There are so many things that I have learned in life without anyone sitting me down to say, "this is how you do it". I learned many lessons from just watching, listening, and growing up with my parents.
The most important lesson given to me ny my mother is kindness. Real kindness, where kindness isn't saying "thank you" or holding doors open, but everything else associated with kindness, without having to be noticed or appreciated. I have met many people, but, I have never met anyone who has demonstrated the same level of kindness as my mother. She finds it difficult to watch someone struggle and then walk away. I have witnessed my mother assist complete strangers as if she had known them her entire life. She has paid for people's transport fare, bought food, for strangers on her way home, gave out money, sponsor events and even stopped to ask if someone needed help carrying their bags.
My mom serves as a chorister in church, and has a reputation for her kindness. She is usually one of the first person to step up whenever a member of the choir is reprimanded for not wearing the correct uniform. She help by either buying them the uniform herself at the market the next day or giving the person the money to get the uniform themselves. She has helped members who couldn't afford to get a particular something. And she never makes it a big deal. She just smiles and say that it's nothing.
My mom do the things she does simply because it is the right thing to do, and not for any benefit.
I have to admit that I did find her over generosity annoying then. I would frequently look at my mom and ask her, "No one asked you to help. Why do you keep doing this?" Or "You don't even know the person". She would smile and say that they needed it and that was enough reason. Then she'd go on explaining how grateful the person was, even though I still didn't see the point at the time. I used to tell her that doing too much good might bring her trouble one day. But that was before I really understood.
I understand now what my mom wanted I and my siblings to take from what she was doing was that doing kind does not mean that we have to wait for the person to ask for help first. Rather, being kind is doing good because we can, because really, making someone's day a little brighter costs nothing.
Then my father is responsible for teaching me how to be appreciative. Gratitude. He's the one who taught me gratitude. I really don't remember a single occasion when we all got together as a family that my dad didn't acknowledge at some point, the importance of gratitude. It's like his favourite word. Every conversation somehow ends with him saying something about being grateful.
My dad would tell us that even if we consider what we have as small, there is someone else out there that can only wish they have it, and that, we forget to thank God for what we do have when we are too focused on what we do not have.
Before, I used to take his words as one of those things parents would normally tell their children. As I grew up, his words became my constant reminder to remain grateful no matter of what I am facing. I remember his words whenever I start to complain or compare.
My mom's kindness and my dad's gratitude has influenced every aspect of my life. They both taught me that being good is not mw being weak, and being grateful does not mean that I'm settling for less. I am simply seeing the good in everything.
I thought my mom was doing too much and my dad was being repetitive, but I can see the ways their lessons have become a part of my life. I try to be kinder, even when no one's watching, and try to be thankful, even when life doesn't go my way, because of them. For that reason, I think my parents has given me one of the greatest gifts I have ever received.
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