Oh my- I'm so sorry you went through all that. I can't imagine how it felt to be honest. I'm so sorry. It's alright if you don't want to forgive them,noone judges you and you're not being childish. It was your feelings and you they hurt and nothing can justify why they did it. Be it to feel high enough or strong enough,it was stupid. Bullies don't really deserve forgiveness. I don't know,I like Shoya a bit not gonna lie but we needed some back story on him. I mean there was no solid reasons as to why he bullied Shoko. I feel he liked her and didn't know any other way to talk to her or come in touch with his feelings. But that sounds ridiculous,but hey,the world is ridiculous.
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It's not really a big deal now haha, but I'm a grudgeful person so forgiving is not my best suit. Yeah, Shoya seemed to unconsciously like her but he did go overboard with that hearing aid incident. Boys are silly and foolish especially when they're in that stage... and yes, the world is indeed ridiculous and thank God we still managed to make sense of it.