I like the end of your work this week. However i think there is a conflict with what has already transpired for a previous section already in the story line. https://ecency.com/hive-180164/@an-man/a-tale-of-two-pizza-dd116efa41029
" "I, umm, yes it was the Fruit baron who was my lover. It makes me happy to hear that my daughter is alive and well, but it does make for quite the situation indeed." Tolcetta said surprised and happy."
I am surprise that @dibblers.dabs missed this. He is always so keen to make sure that the semantics are enforced and that diligence has left out many good pieces from many writers submissions for the sake of the story line......not sure what happened this time. But it was already sorted as to whom Tolcetta lover is as well as who the father of her daughter, Delilah, is.
It could be that everything anyone says in this story is not at all what they say it is, every changing and opposite from one week to the next, but then i am not sure what the point of writing a collective story is if everything changes at a whim.
Let me know what your thought are...
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hi @an-man :-)
I was fully aware of this piece of yours, hence my comment that you wouldn't like my post haha.
I put Delilah at age 14... you made her 'about 15' afterward... a mother should know her daughter's age, right hehe? Or is Tolcetta being vague deliberately?
Our stories don't conflict in so far as Busk was her true love, she admitted it as did Danny. But for the sake of Delilah they both agreed to make Busk appear as the father... I simply turned her tentative account to Manzanilla into a cover story (in line with the 'lie' that she and Danny contrived).
It is clear she wasn't being completely open with Manzanilla as she says
She kept it vaguer until Manzanilla pried. Her saying that the fruit Baron was the father is in keeping with what I have said about her and Danny conspiring to flaunt that story, so I see no inconsistency there either;-)
It is the nature of collaboration in writing something like this that we can all take things down paths the other may not have chosen or expected. The art of the collaborative novella is to be able to adjust and adapt on the fly. This has happened a couple of times to things I have written...I have been planning to take things in one direction and then yourself, Dabs or Wrestling take it in another...and I have had to go with the flow hehe. Because you introduced her hesitancy in revealing her former life, it inspired and enabled me to show the hidden story beneath it all.
I think there is a distinct difference between showing a hidden story that complies and fits with the created narrative, albeit not what you had envisaged, and creating a factual impossibility such as having a character appear simultaneously in two different places at once.
Let's enjoy the creative process together and all continue to learn and grow from the experience. !PIZZA !ALIVE
@an-man! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @samsmith1971. (6/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
Yup time passes and her mother said about 15....not 15.
You take what Tolcetta said as unclear, it could have been taken as the words were or interpreted however, what ever really. Such is the beauty of this, indeed.
Seems like anything is possible if it was not specifically said even then if it is said it could be that it is not truth, until it is or is not. Cool, ill make sure to be more interpretative of what seems like fact. Thanks for that.
"factual impossibility such as having a character appear simultaneously in two different places at once." Lame Low Blow... sam...we all miss read sometimes. reread top line. wahaa ;-)
I am sorry you feel that way.