“At least it made you stronger.”
Those words have become almost like a background noise in my life. Every time I face a major life lesson, they come. People say them with good intentions, trying to offer comfort. And on the surface, I nod, I smile, I agree. Somehow it feels like the least we can do is accept what we cannot change. It’s okay, they say. Everything is okay.
And yet, deep down, a small voice in me whispers something different. My inner child cries out for warmth, for comfort, for softness. Not lessons, not scars, not the weight of reality. There is a longing to just be held without any explanation, to just be understood without being told that there is a silver lining. Sometimes I wonder if anyone really hears that part of me.
I notice this a lot. When someone is clearly not okay, the default response is often “It’s okay.” Maybe it’s universal. Maybe people say it because they don’t know what else to say. Maybe it’s easier than sitting with the rawness of another person’s pain. I don’t know if it is right or wrong, but I do know that it leaves a feeling behind, a quiet reminder that our true feelings are often brushed aside, even in moments when we most need to be seen.
And that makes me realize something. Feeling is not a weakness. Crying is not a mistake. Wanting to be comforted is not selfish. And yes, accepting life’s lessons is important, but it is also okay to just sit in the discomfort, to not have all the answers, to just feel the hurt and the frustration and the confusion.
I also realize that empathy cannot be forced. It cannot be demanded. It must be offered, given freely. And when it is not given, we are left to navigate our feelings alone. That is a hard truth to accept, but it is also liberating in a quiet way. It teaches self-reliance. It teaches patience with ourselves. And it teaches that sometimes the person who comforts us the most is the one we find within.
That is why I often choose to keep my personal struggles to myself. Not out of pride, not out of fear, but out of understanding that others cannot always meet me where I am. And that is okay too. Because in holding my own heart, in giving space for my feelings to exist without judgment, I learn more about myself. I learn how to be gentle with my inner child. I learn how to be a friend to myself when the world falls short.
So yes, life lessons leave scars. But they also leave wisdom. And sometimes, simply surviving and feeling everything without someone else’s words is the greatest kind of strength we can find. Maybe one day, the words “It’s okay” will feel enough. But for now, I will give myself the comfort I am seeking. I will sit with my feelings. I will let myself be.
Because in the end, that is where true strength begins.
And that’s all for my blog.
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STOPsong for u..
yes, endure and be strong, but it's ok to cry too. u are loved. :)
Thank you, sir 🙂