Can an adaptation be better than the original? (Part 5)

in Freewriters2 months ago

Hey guys! Today is the finale. All of the build up I made across the previous chapters plays out here.

So if you haven't seen those yet you can find them here: Act I Act II Act III Act IV

And before you guys see my version here's the original version to compare. Keep in mind this original version plays out very differently.

Please see Act V below: (this one's a little longer than the previous ones)

I think the easiest thing to notice between the two versions besides them having different events is the pacing. It was actually odd while playing it. The original Act V started out with a continuation of the flooding waters from the end of Act IV but it took place several weeks later and still nobody was ready for it. And then even after the tragic events there was this slow crawl towards the climax and even with certain death looming overhead, nobody seemed all that worried. It wouldn't be until a giant leviathan monster erupted from a tear in space in the middle of the courtroom that we even really see concern at all. And of course by then it's too late.

So I decided to end my Act IV on a cliffhanger and Act V started right away with situations barreling towards the protagonists non-stop. In that way I feel the prophecy bore more weight, it was on people's minds and they were actively trying to respond to it.

I used a song in the climax of my version. This song came from miHoYo but they had used it in a follow-up Character Quest for Furina. Based on the meaning of the lyrics I thought it would have been great for the Fontaine story itself. Also it is a very beautiful song. You guys should have a listen for yourselves here. The part I used is the second verse.

Another thing about the original story was the big reveal. It turned out the Archon was a fraud set up by apparently herself 500 years ago for the purposes of setting up a trial in the present to act as a catalyst for resolving the prophecy by giving herself a guilty verdict and sentencing herself to execution. She'd kill herself and then leave the fraud version to survive her. Doing so released a form of energy that was able to undo the prophecy. It played out in an even more convoluted way but what I took offense to was that the fraud, Furina was left with zero agency. It made it so that she was just a tool the whole story, meant to parade around in order to draw suspicion at the right time just so they could have a trial and accuse her of being a fraud. To me it made her character feel like bully bait, a punching bag the players are just meant to feel bad for.

So in my version I gave her more of an active role. She antagonized the Traveler initially out of fear they'd cause her and her region more harm. This was because she had been traumatized by a past event, the same event that brought her to power. In a similar way I also forced my Furina to not know her true role but unlike the original I gave her back her agency at the end. As soon as she had the Gnosis in her hands she regained her memories and went right to work, actively resolving the prophecy and also revealing that she'd been setting things in motion since the beginning.

There was also a trial in the original story, the trial to prove that Furina was a fraud. The problem was that again it felt like it was just to tear down this poor girl and emotionally ruin her when it's then revealed she was forced to lie under the impression that by doing so she'd keep her nation safe. It ended up painting everybody attacking her in a very negative light.

So my trial again gave her agency. She had it all planned out. It soundly defeated the antagonist, it used the law to do it to keep with the theme and she then used it as a central part of her plan to resolve the prophecy too.

Finally there's the Act's title. We had actually known that this was going to be the title for several years. miHoYo released a trailer called Travail before the game even launched where we got the titles for each chapter of the game's story. As such we all knew Fontaine's story was going to end with something about a "Masquerade of the Guilty." Because of that you'd think there'd be several guilty parties to be revealed or at least addressed during the events. However, in the original story the only guilty party is Furina and her other self. Even the typical antagonistic force, the Fatui were actually helping this time. Conversely in my version, several people were made guilty. The aristocrats were guilty of abuse, those they abused were guilty of plotting revenge in mutually assured destruction, the Fatui were guilty of conspiracy, Furina was guilty of leading her nation to their doom and even the one that ultimately saved everyone was guilty of having set up the prophecy to begin with thereby making the save more of a penance.

Ok well that's enough from me. Please let me know what you thought!