The dust that surrounded him and the hole that wanted to pull him inside. The shadows that called him and the hands that wanted to grab him.
Elgine took a container from one of the kitchen shelves and put it on the table and started making medicine for himself. He chopped the mountain herbs with a knife and poured some boiled water on them and stirred them with a spoon.
Then he sat down at the table and when he was about to take his medicine, his eyes fell on his red stockings.
These were given to me by Elhannan when he wanted to confess his love to me. He asked me to sit on a chair and take off my pants and raise my robe so that he could put the socks on my legs, and I had become as red as the socks out of embarrassment."
He gave a painful laugh and tears gathered in his eyes.
"When I told him about my illness, I never saw him again. He broke my heart, but I don't blame him. It must have been very hard for him to stay and watch me gradually change."
He finished taking his medicine and then went to his room and laid down on the bed and closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep.
He saw himself in the library of his university looking for the specifications of a book among the files. At this moment, hands were wrapped around him from behind and Elgine turned his face and saw Elhannan and smiled and kissed his cheek.
"What are you doing? Tell me to help you, I'm your senior, aren't I?"
Elgine opened his mouth and started to say the words he didn't want to say forever.
"I've been seeing strange things around me for some time and now I'm looking for an ancient medical book to get information about my condition."
The color faded from Elhannan's face.
"My ex-lover had the same problem."
Elgine raised his hand and placed it on Elhannan's cheek.
"Darling, don't worry. His illness and mine may have nothing to do with each other."
Elhannan continued with his eyes wide with fear.
"He was admitted to a hospital and his hands and feet were tied because he mistook the people around him for the attackers he saw in his mind and always threatened that if they came forward, he would plunge a knife into their hearts. "
Elgine raised his other hand and placed it on Elhannan's other cheek.
"That won't happen to me, I promise you."
Elgine woke up crying and went to the window and opened it to let the cool night breeze hit his face.
"Elhannan, I think my illness was not really a big deal and it was actually the fear of losing you that brought me to this point.
Instead of being by my side to spend difficult moments together, you chose to run away and I'm sure now you see the nightmare of my illness every night."
Then the helplessness on his face gave way to a decisive expression and he turned away from the window and left the house and walked towards Elhannan's place of residence.
"I need to see you and remind you of the love that exists between us so that you can find the courage to come back to me."
At this time, a carriage came quickly towards Elgine and he, who was immersed in his thoughts, did not see it and was crushed under its wheels and horses' hooves, and his red blood flowed on the street floor.
The last scene he saw before his death was Elhannan running towards him with a terrified face. He smiled faintly and whispered:
"You're coming back to me."
