Good morning and happy Tursday.
I think in leadership, and this gets into two of the top characteristics of servant leaders, but those two are critical. Again, if you're gonna have rapport, you gotta listen, you gotta have empathy for that person.
Otherwise, you're just, I will call it, you're a sales schmuck trying to pitch somebody something just for, again, you're really trying to manipulate somebody, right, for your own benefit. It doesn't matter about what they want or what I want; you want to do it. So let's move on here. So listening is critical, number two.
Number three, ask the right questions, right? Good leaders ask great questions; we've heard that before. John Maxwell's book, one of my, I think one of my favorites... and this takes us back to the last two videos I did where I talked about asking questions of leaders and what questions to ask leaders. But asking questions is integrally related to being a good leader and how much influence you will have. And I think most people who want to, quote, influence you or me don't ask any questions, right? They really attempt to sell us or pitch us on whatever their deal is, and they miss, guess what, going back to number one: rapport. Okay? That's why it starts out with rapport; I think that's critical. So don't do that, okay?
Asking the right questions helps you and me to get the right answers, and it promotes open communication, again, really important, right? We kind of said this already. Ask amazing, great questions. It's a skill like any other skill and takes practice, but your skills will improve over time, you know, if you work on them. And again, you want to get good answers; they come from asking good questions.
And this is a point I want to get into; it's kind of just a personal annoyance I find, is that people pitching others, my cell phone, they want to make a connection... I'll say more so on LinkedIn even than Facebook, but on social media, they all of a sudden, you can tell, I call them, they take you down the primrose path of prospecting. They ask you kind of like, "How are you doing? Yeah, where do you live?" And then, you can tell they're going down their path there, and they want me to get into their deal. They want me to invest money with them or get in their investment deal or their business deal. But they never stop to ask questions about what are my goals? What am I looking for? Am I looking for a different, a different, you know, deal? Am I looking for a business? Am I looking for an opportunity?
And I say, and guys, hear me because this is where wisdom comes in, is if you don't take time to find out what I'm really interested in, or I don't take time to find out what your interest is in or what your goals are, anything... I don't care what it is you're pitching, right? That I will not do business with somebody that doesn't do that. Why would I? I'm just... it's like I'm just manipulating you, and I think I am, to get you to get in my deal or spend money with me. But if I don't know what you're really looking for, guys, again, game over. So this is so, so important, guys. Don't, and don't be like that on social media. Take time to really get to know people, or don't bother trying to connect with them, okay?
Remember, the art of influencing doesn't come naturally; it is a learned skill. I see one of the best, better books, I think so great classic, Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you haven't read it, I recommend that you take the time to do so.