Lots of great images in there. And that last stanza:
You go on about the beautiful weather we’re having
and I want to throw plates at you still
but I smile at the baby
and try to forget the summer I met you.
Whew, that hits strong. Before reading the background text you wrote, that did give me an image of a 50s-type marriage where you are expected to stay even if there is abuse and hatred.
Great job! Oh and I agree with you about giving students choices. I try to do the same in my classes—which isn't always an easy thing when dealing with Japanese kids who have never been given a choice before and somewhat freeze up when actually given permission to pick their own path.
!PIMP
You must be killin' it out here!
@dbooster just slapped you with 1.000 PIMP, @riverflows.
You earned 1.000 PIMP for the strong hand.
They're getting a workout and slapped 1/2 possible people today.
Read about some PIMP Shit or Look for the PIMP District
Oh yes, some kids want to be spoonfed: 'But what do you WANT me to write?'. It really takes a dedicated teaching culture to teach them to think for themselves, with inquiring, curious, risk taking minds, helping them understand that this kind of thinking DOES help them get the results they want.
I'm glad you got something out of it before you read the background - I initially explained it first, but I was hoping the poem would speak that itself. It's such good fun to get an original text and play with it - I know you do a great job with the haiku in this way. It's very satisfying to explore a genre in that way!