You seem to be going through a difficult moment and experiencing a lot of negative feelings. I suppose everyone goes through highs and lows in life, and it's acceptable to not know everything. In any case, we are not alone in this planet. Furthermore, I'm positive that there are kind people out there who will support us at this trying time.
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ASL?
You bring me back to MIRC time. What a flashback! 😂
hahahhaah those were the best of internet days