Warning: This post will include a lot of vulgar words.
As I serve through some posts and articles online I always find myself getting bored even though 90% of it's me who seeks to check them out. I also lose interest halfway through that I no longer even care about the information that I open the article to find.
Here are my tips about what you shouldn't do when writing an article. Someone send a copy of this to the New York Times.
1- I Don't What You're Doing While Writing It
No one gives a flying fuck about what you're doing while writing this. I opened the article/post because I wanted to read a character analysis of Daenerys Targaryen because I am too dumb to form my own thoughts. I don't know what you're wearing or whether your brother is in the next room blowing the neighbor's dog.
So many articles start this stupid way:
"I am sitting here, eating an avocado toast glazed with honey while wearing my old Nike shoes at 3:18 PM while the garbage truck outside is making a lot of beeping as the driver of the truck is going in reverse. The driver of the truck is wearing a green vest which reminds me of my dad's old green vest that was burnt in the 1992 Los Angeles riots"
All of that is just to give me an opinion piece about whether the new GTA game is worth buying or not.
Newsflash! No one cares about what you're doing while writing, what you're wearing, or what you're eating. We're here for the information in the title, give us that so we could leave in peace.
2- Stop Prolonging it
I know some of these matter because of ad sales but there's seriously nothing more annoying than having to read a 3 thousand words article to just know whether there will be a new season of Succession. They could give you the information right away, but nooooooooooooooooooo! You have to first learn the name of every actor on the show, the philosophy of the show, the writers, and the backstory behind it.
Like, guess what? If I googled "Will there be a new season of Succession?" I am obviously aware of the show and don't need you to tell me every plot of every episode until the end of the last episode. Especially since, you know, I ALREADY FUCKING KNOW THAT! I didn't ask what the show is, I just need a straight-up question, will there or will there not be a new season of Succession?
And if you don't know, don't write all that shit. I don't want to read all of that just to end it with "It is rumored that there will be a new season"
3- Just Say You Don't Know
Another thing is a true story: I play Fantasy Premier League which depends on live performances of players of clubs in the Premier League. I have a player on my team called Oleksandr Zinchenko who got injured. I googled his name to see for how long and clicked on an article titled "How Long Will Oleksandr Zinchenko Be Sidelined Due to Injury". Pretty straightforward, right? Wrong! Below is a list of things I learned from the article.
Oleksandr Zinchenko moved to Arsenal this season from Manchester City.
Oleksandr Zinchenko's transfer fee is reported to be £30 million
He was replaced by a Spanish player named Sergio Gómez for a fee of 13 million.
Sergio Gómez started in Barcelona's academy
Pep Guardiola, Manchester City's current manager used to manage Barcelona
Pep Guardiola went to manage Bayern Munich after Barcelona
The name of Pep Guardiola's wife
How Pep Guardiola invested in a local Spanish club
Here's a list of things I didn't learn.
- How long is Oleksandr Zinchenko going to be fucking sidelined!!
Like, why? Just say you don't know. Just don't write the fucking article! Why did I have to take a detour into the history of the player's past life, his replacement's past life, his previous club's past, and the past of his ex-manager? Do you honestly think I clicked an article titled "How Long Will Oleksandr Zinchenko Be Sidelined Due to Injury" because I couldn't google any of the other stuff?
4- Stop Making Vaguely True Statements
How many truisms must we suffer just because you can't start an article? Here's a typical start you probably saw to the death
"There's something beautiful/magical/ugly about insert the topic of the post"
Yes, genius author, THERE IS something beautiful about watching films in the theatre. Yes, you amazing wordsmith, THERE IS something ugly about killing someone. What would I have done without those great inputs? What's next? There's something red about ketchup?
So many sentences are used to just meet a word limit that is resulting in the article not being read at all. These days I read articles like I have been awake for 36 hours and now I have to listen to the cashier at the fast food place list all the specials. I just read it while screaming "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!"
In Conclusion
For the sake of our time and sanity, and yours as well, please just get to the point. Most of the time I am searching whether the two actors in the porn I watched are actually related, so the less time spent here, the better.
Now I know too much about Oleksandr Zinchenko 😜
#1 I agree. I've been in content marketing for years, and writing "your diary" is a no-no in our world. When I joined Hive, I saw the people write whatever they want and thought "great!" But then I often think to myself, why am I reading this???
#2 Yes I see that often on Quora too. Too long with irrelevant info. On other blogs people prolong for SEO purposes but you don't need that on Hive platforms. "Go straight to the point" if your intention is to provide information.
#3 Nobody's interested in your speculation, is that what you mean? Yes, maybe because trashy newspaper columns are full of those just to draw the attention of the fans and we may be influenced by it?
#4 That kind of expression is ONLY valid when explained properly in the following sentence, otherwise yes, I agree that's a zero-quality wasteful expression.
Thanks for your advice.
I agree on the not prolonging it. I do think there are times when your context does matter but the description you gave is one that would probably not be relevant.
Rumor has it they are related.
Nice venting post, Amir.
I doubt it will change anything, lol.
CTP
Finally someone has called a spade a spade. A little venting is needed to get your point across.very well said.
I've seen too many articles falling under one of these points to say it's a travesty....
It's a pain to read these, like it costs me so much energy that I usually won't even finish the first paragraph because it's like I've been assigned a task that will take me all of my brainpower to get through it while not even worth 1 minute of my time.
I hope some people take note reading your tips :)
!CTP !1UP !thriving ;-) (don't kill me haha)
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm all cracked up right now. I thought I was the only who felt this way about most articles online. Celebrity blogs and quora digest does this shit a lot and it's gets me really sick. I just wish someone could show 'em this🤣🤣🤣.
Wow, tell us what you really feel. LOL I get it though. That is what is great about micro blogging. Not enough room for all that.
!CTP
!ALIVE
@amirtheawesome1! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @lisamgentile1961. (5/10)
The tip has been paid for by the We Are Alive Tribe through the earnings on @alive.chat, feel free to swing by our daily chat any time you want.
Good Morning and Thank you, @youarealive! Enjoy your day.😀
That is why I skip 95% of posts on any blog platform, writing is an art the fact your a mommy doesn't mean you should start a Mommy Blog
Beating about the bush before making points can be damn boring to readers.. I've also come across many blogs like that. Call a spade a spade. Hit the nail on the head. Well said.
Not me suddenly thinking if my brother is actually at the neighbor's screwing their dog 😂
How do you all play virtual premier league football based on the lives of real life players?
Even Google doesn't know it all but she claims to know it all, see... There's still so much about life we can never predict. 😂😂😂😂
I think we'll be seeing a lot more Posts starting with the food I just ate and the taste of the water I just drank because no one actually cares about what I think
I feel like this needs to be hung in a blogging hall of Fame or somewhere. Not just blogging but tutorial videos too, I mean, go straight to the reason why we're here
I can only imagine myself being frustrated when I read too much of this kinds of post and still haven't got what I am looking for. LOL.
These kinds of posts should not make it on top of the search results list.
Thanks for sharing. 😊
!1UP
You have received a 1UP from @thecuriousfool!
@bee-curator, @ccc-curator, @pimp-curator, @vyb-curator, @pob-curator
And they will bring !PIZZA 🍕.
Learn more about our delegation service to earn daily rewards. Join the Cartel on Discord.
This just made my day complete. I'm so guilty of this too I think 🤣🤣🤣🤣. You're really awesome I must say
Thanks for the advices and insights. I'll use them as best I can in my writings.
For reading... I guess, if I may suggest, we have to filter as good as possible, use and develop abilities like speed reading, diagonal reading, take it easy-peasy and criticize with a good sense of empathy to reach the peeps at their fingertips.
!CTP