Poll Find Reveals Startling Findings Around the Hive Community.

in Comedy Open Mic5 months ago

In a world where cryptocurrencies have been at the forefront of major investment booms, Hive, a blockchain platform that operates as a decentralized social blogging service, seems to have been left behind. Jimmy Barnacle, a noted figure from the Coin Tribune, shares his insights into the reasons why Hive has not taken off in the expected trajectory.

Though Hive boasts of a robust peer-to-peer network, no transaction costs, and practical applications, its performance in the market is perplexing, especially given its strong start post a hardfork from Steem in 2019. Barnacle ponders, "Why isn't Hive hitting the $50 mark, especially when it supports platforms like hit game Splinterlands?"

In a recent poll conducted by an independent crypto body, around 100,000 individuals weighed in on the potential reasons behind Hive's subdued performance. And the results? Well, they're surprising.

1. The Hive Twitter Cringe (30.8%):

The most significant factor pinpointed by respondents was the cringeworthy exchanges between Hive users on social platforms, particularly the use of the catchphrase

"This is the way."

Adopted from Disney's 'The Mandalorian,' the phrase has left many feeling the Hive community is overly nerdy. In fact, respondents deemed it more 'cringe' than even "Cowabunga dude." Barnacle laughs, "Are Hive users subtly hinting at their impending extinction with this phrase taken from a somewhat hidden society, much like the Mandalorians?"

Negatively Affecting the Hive Price (3).png

2. Misdirected Marketing Budgets (23.1%):

Hive has been notably active in countries like Venezuela, where the fiat currency is notoriously unstable. While Hive's intent to provide an alternative currency is noble, it hasn't gone down well with many in the crypto community. Barnacle explains, "Targeting economies with higher GDP or disposable income might be more strategic. Currently, it seems like Hive's outreach is simply enriching those spreading the Hive gospel and this is not a good look externally"

3. Users Voting on Ladybird Posts?? (15.4%):

The wider crypto community are still trying to get their head around Derek getting $45 Hive rewards for writing a post about a ladybird. They think there is a catch to it. They then sign up and write a detailed post about the "Inner Workings of the Hydrogen Collider in Geneva" and earn a measly 5 cent. They then head away and confirm to the wider public that Hive is a pyramid scheme.

4.Whales Chasing Out Influencers(15.4%):

Famous or Infamous crypto influencer (whichever way you see it) cryptofinally joined Hive and was ran out of the community with digital pitch forks because she was a hot chick was basically the crocks of the situation a couple of years ago on Hive. Since then we are known as a bunch of hillbillys protecting our lands from any outsiders. She may have a point.

5.Reward Pool Shenanigans (15.4%):

Whereever there is money there is greed in every fabric of our society. This is a major problem in a decentralised society where trust is key. Thankfully there is the downvote button for this reason. The top accounts uses these effectively because they are the pillars of society or so it is to be believed. But what if the top accounts are raping the reward pool themselves. This is where it all gets a bit messy with proof of work. Other crypto currencies just cut out the shite and think we don't have our house in order.

"So there you have it." proclaimed Jimmy.
"Why the outside world think you are a shower of numptys."
"But on the brightside you are not a cringy as the space cadets over at Blurt"
"They are crazy with a capital "C". If I hear one more word about Epsteins flight log I will scream."

Best of luck to the HIve Community. Couple of easy fixes there. Ban the Mandalorian shite and you will be trading at $1 before the end of the week.


This is so spot on and I am trying not to look like a gonzo laughing in public.

🤣🤣 cheers @macchiata . This is the way

I quite agree with this. However, there are less considered reasons that are apparent for these policies at first glance. Hive was created as an emergency flight from Steem, that was captured by means of concentrating stake in a hostile takeover, and because Steem, and Hive still, are plutocracies, this is an inevitable hazard the specific features of the platform inculcate. As a means of preventing exactly that hazard from eventuating, several of the listed drawbacks are actually deliberate policies implemented by stakeholders to secure their enjoyment of ROI through rewards pool shenanigans from outside capital, by the simple mechanism of preventing growth and attracting bigger predators than the little sharks in our little pond.

"...basically the crocks of the situation..."

The right word for the application here is crux, although I may be missing a deliberate substitution of crocks in order to denigrate policies being discussed.


The casual misspelling is on purpose to declare that I am not an artificial intelligence. I knew it would come in handy at some point. 😃😃

Aha! Piont taken.

Holly shit! Almost losing this one! lol
What can I say, I would buy a book with a compilation of all your comedy open mic!

Hehe, posts like these should be sitting in the trending page. If only I was a whale. I like when you write funny posts about the blockchain, they're always insightful. I wasn't here during the cryptofinally saga, but I took a quick look, and it didn't look good one bit.

All you've said here are valid.


Thanks for the kind comments. Some day we will be whales. Slowly slowly catchy monkey😃

You must be killin' it out here!
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Dam man, good thoughts my brother of Blanch. I hope we stay strong, but theres always that little uncertainty. The ladybirds do well though !LOL, so true. Those sweet eyes grab us by the pearls hahaha.


🤣🤣🤣 I love you man, rocking that guild coming first every week

Got me arse handed to me on my battles bro. I wait so i can just fill whatever. Did good on gold past few times, but this time i got a bad draw i suppose, with some guys that have strong cards. Oh well, better luck next time. Glad that youre still rockin man. Im doing little better too, still on a mission of damage control tho, but im trying to build my frame bro. The masculine frame !LOL

Does refusing to go to the gym
count as resistance training?

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Credit: marshmellowman
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The content to this post seems closer to the truth than it being satire.

P.S. Should I start watching 'The Mandalorian' or do you think it's too nerdy for me?

It's a good show..you should for sure watch it..just don't steal his motto.

Good to know. I will give it a watch soon.

And no worries, I am too creative to steal mottos from shows ;<)

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Totally, I worked on some interesting posts for two days, but nobody reads that. Make a picture of my cat and complain about how she was waking me up at 5am. everyone's vote is like $5 or more per person.