2022 was the highlight(in my opinion) as it pertains japa(relocation). Sometime in the year, it looked like everyone was leaving. As I did not have the money to leave too, I began to imagine just about how many of us will be left in this our dear country because left, right, center, forward, people were leaving in their numbers. It was either to Canada or USA or the UK. These places should be overpopulated by now. Or at the very least, the number of Nigerians should be more than than that of their citizens. Because...
Pexel
Following all of the travels and relocations, a trend was obvious. Lest I forget, may I also mention that these people - (some or a large percent), failed to inform their closest of friends -and in very few cases- their families, of their travel plans. Who says village people are not powerful!?
So, there were many complaints and rants from friends who felt so bad that someone so close never put them in the loop. Some spoke of friends with whom they had spoken hours or days earlier with yet were not given a hint. It was all over the media. Hot steamy tears were all over!
I digress...
You see that japa class of 2022? I'm yet to figure what is wrong with them. They're just all over the place.
Two days in their new country and they're all self-acclaimed nfluencers.
I would skip the part where everyone is now an influencer till a later day
My neighbour who relocated to Canada, just about a week in her stay, her feed and status is filled with... 'travel guide,' 'travel expert,' 'life coach".. blah blah blah. Somebody I know that went abroad via the sea means. Ha!
Before you'll breath in and out, they've mounted camera and ringlight. Next thing, they're dropping advice and teks. They're either nutritionists or visa agents or finance experts or relationship experts or lifestyle vloggers or travel counsellors or whatever thing they call themselves.
People that back at home,their heads are empty. Does anyone know if the abroad gives ideas and inspirations? I'm asking for a friend.
Now, to the reason for this semi-rant.
So yesterday, I saw this tweet from a person I assume is a newbie japa-rian that reads;
"when you leave Nigeria, you'll realize that Nigerian eating culture is pure gluttony. Your body doesn't need that much food, just killing yourself slowly."
I laughed. See, with the recent happenings, I'll advise anyone to eat at least seven wraps of fufu(baked cassava flour) and wash it down with cold zobo. Why? Just check this..
First, you leave your house very early, go to the ATM because money is scarce, arrive as early as 5:00am and still get to be number 287 on the queue. While on the queue, if you don't shout/quarrel with somebody, they'll shout at you. Also, after being there until about 8:00am, you may be unlucky and, two more persons before it gets to your turn, the machine either stops dispensing cash or it runs out of service. Not enough reason to eat plenty? Read on.
With all the frustration and anger, you go into the bank itself to make acomplaint i laugh in naija bank. If it's Zenith or Access or Fidelity Bank, my dear, take enough okra and warm water before hand. You'll need it
After the ATM/bank wahala, if you own a car, narrow escape for you. If not, your problem just tripled. It's either you quarrel with the bus conductor over incomplete change or over torn notes or over old notes or your seat-neighbor pours his/her day's frustration on you for sitting like you're in your father's living room.
If you own a car and will be visiting a fuel station, first of, stop by a restaurant and buy food. Prepare your mind that you'll either maintain your cool and spend the next five hours there or you'll fight dirty with your fellow frustrated Nigerian.
See, if you're a Nigerian in Nigeria, please eat. You(we) need it. We eat for different reasons; queue problem, fuel station problem, bank problem, market problem, POS problem, transit problem....problem just too much
We're not abusing food. We're only following Netwons third law;
The food we eat is equal and opposite to the shege we see.
And siuuuu! Yes, you! You've not eaten, you don't have strength and you live in this country? Pick a date and a coffin dears.
Thanks for gracing this post.
Greetings!
Everything was fine until I got to the broken bills, you made me remember that today I was given a torn bill, I told the lady and she replied that in the United States they accept even torn bills and here in Venezuela everyone gets upset because of a torn bill. Well for a moment I thought you would mention Venezuela with all the realities you mentioned @cheeamaka . Well we must continue resisting, I mean...persevering
Over here in Nigeria, broken bills are not accepted. Banks accept them but individuals do not.
Oh! It's the same fate over there?
Presently, in my country, this is our reality. There's been redesigning of our naira notes and a deadline(which has elapsed) after which the 'old notes' will no longer be acceptable. Meanwhile, the new notes have not circulated. Some persons haven't even seen them. So we're faced with varying issues. It's just crazy.
But then, well survive. We'll get past this. As we always have.
This part hits me hard anytime I come across such post/lifestyle on socials. It's not their fault, anything to trend.
For the habit of not informing close friends of japa-ing, I have one that moved to Dubai and I didn't believe untill she called with UAE line and sent pictures, I was like, there's God!
I pity people that are still watching their weight in this end time 🤣
Like!
They're just all over the place. They'll not tell you how they make 40dollar per hour rather they'll be feeding you with the ills and why you shouldn't go coupled with all their lifestyle dis-contents.
Wow! It's the fear of village people. And, it's her life, her choice.
Let them continue. They've not seen anything yet 😂
You're not among them?
98.9% of ladies are on this table
Ha!
This your statistics sha.
I'm a picky eater but I eat. I can't go and come amd kill myself😂
You sure need it😅😂
Omor, Access bank is after many peoples life. I don't even want to start ranting about them because it's going to be a long one.
I wonder why people choose not to eat. Not like the food did anything wrong to them...over Sabi everywhere😪
I pity Access and Zenith bank customers. I use Union bank and asides the occasional skoin-skoin, they're doing well.
For people who do not eat inspite of the daily wahala, I have no words for them. They know better😂
Say na skoin skoin😅. It's just to weep sha because there's nothing we can do.
Maybe their fainting would cause people to disperse 😅
A day's stress in Nigeria is definitely a reason to be a glutton lol
It's more than enough reason to be a glutton😂
Thank you for stopping by.
My dear we need to increase it to 10 raps of fufu, the japa people will not understand because they don't know that someone who left her house by 3;30am gets number 120 at the bank gate then number 209 inside the bank . Hahahahah hahahahah hahahahah hahahahah I enjoyed your story.