It's the eve of the Christian's most popular holiday, christened 'Christmas' and I can already perceive its aroma in the environment, which I believe most Nigerians can, except the broke ones like a friend of mine.
But the Christmas story is story for another day. I just wanted to bring it to y'all notice (especially Nigerians), that festivities is upon us, but inflation is much more upon us. So spend unwisely because whether you like it or not, your money will still finish.
Today I'm going to talk about a friend of mine who's name is Bankole, which literally translates "Bank-thief". And that's the primary reason he now prefers to be called Peter. But there's something synonymous with both of his names.
First is that Bankole is a very slippery guy that you can't actually Bank on. And just like the biblical Peter, there's always something fishy going on in his life, and he's not cut out for defending his friends when it matters. But one thing you can't take away from him is that he eats well.
Bankole is a well fed dude with enough paunch of an evidence to show for it. He loves wearing starchy shirts that just hang squarely off his shoulders, leaving his "Christian mother hand" protruding off the sides and his head hanging on top (neckless) that makes him look like a human size but dwarfed SpongeBob.
Once, when he pissed his mom off, she told us that her real son was flushed down with the tissue that carried it the night Bankole was conceived, and that Bankole was just a product of pre-cum. That's why he's 'half-formed'.
She said that they deliberately overfed him thinking that the food will make up for the cum that he missed. Now Bankole is so fat he looks like he walks around with an oven in his stomach and he's constantly failed his diets because he can easily warm his thoughts and eat them.
Whenever he walks around, we can hear his shoes making squeaky and sorrowful sounds like they're in labour. He has so suffocated his Nike Airs that the Nike ticks ✅ on the poor thing now look upside down and when he wears Adidas, the symbols look like 3 short horizontal lines.
Bankole thinks he is a very funny guy as well, but he laughs more than his audience and whenever we hear him start laughing or more like roaring like a lion, we know 'mr metro goldwyn' is in town and the movie is about to begin.
But whenever we watch real movies together, I usually prefer to sit opposite him and enjoy the crisp clear reflection off his stainless forehead. His big head is so big and heavy, it forced down his neck into his throat.
That's why nowadays if you want to asphyxiate or suffocate Bankole, you can't go for his neck, because that part of his body is nonexistent. All you have to do is pull up his tight pants unto his stomach and watch him squirm and gasp for air.
But we love Bankole like that, even though he's the type of guy that would chew banknotes just because someone told him to "eat his money".
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I Hope Bankole is not married, he needs to cut down his shape because no one will be ready to settle down with an oversized, at least you love your Bankole that way.
Well, Bankole isn't married and won't be because he's only in my imagination
Hey that's being a good friend, I think this was all the work of your great imagination, poor guy even his mom doesn't seem to like him very much when he makes her mad. Watching this guy eat made me feel like I'm not so fat and that gives me a lot of encouragement. Poor monster, what do I say poor kid. It made an impression on me as I am writing something about Christmas which is already upon us
Seriously now, if we really want to smile we should come to this community @diikaan
Yeah, it's an imaginative character that I came up with. The mother loves him though, just that she gets emotional whenever he pisses her off...
I'm glad that I could make you laugh and thank you for stopping by
Bankole is only doing what makes him happy. Funny story
Bankole can swallow banknote, but wait ooo, where will he even see the banknote in a time we are now, where things are not in good shape, tell Bankole to forget about wearing Adidas, he should wear AirMax instead, those shoes will fit him so much.
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