Parrots have a nasty bite, and perching them on shoulders makes earlobes highly vulnerable. I think that's why so many pirates had pierced ears. One of the most important jobs of a First Mate is to carry the Captain back to his berth after too much vodka and raw pork fat across a heaving, storm tossed deck. You have to have an iron stomach and a high tolerance for a gut full of vodka. We'd have to ascertain your tolerance by testing to destruction. It's important to understand our limits.
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