The COMedy rumble: Don’t do drugs kids

in Comedy Open Mic2 years ago (edited)



My head was spinning, I was in a frame of mind where all I could see were green and red stars, I could hear three voices in my head wanting me to say my deepest secrets, I was hungry as hell and I was terrified to my bones.

How the hell did I get here?

The first time I ever smoked weed.

It was the day my stoner friend offered to pay me a sleepover visit. Of course she brought her weed materials to my house and I’m definitely not the judgmental friend so I did not stop her as long as it doesn’t disturb anyone.

Afterwards, she lit her evening joint and smoked it halfway before heading to shower. I don’t know what tempted me but I decided to give it a try. Knowing it’s my first time, she warned me not to finish the half blunt then left.

Well not only did I finish the half blunt because I felt it did nothing for the first few seconds but I lit another one and smoked the full thing.

Welp, typing this now I know how dumb that decision was.

I still felt nothing and was preparing to brag to my friend when she comes out of the bathroom.
Until she came out and I saw a really strange figure, the figure began to multiply and were approaching towards me.
I tried to run but the problem was I could not feel my legs.


I tried to calmly lay down but it felt like I was drowning so that was a bad idea.

Panic now entered the groupchat.

I screamed my friend’s name and the figure touched me and calmly asked what I did, I told her with tears in my eye how I finished the one and a half blunt. She looked at me dead in the eye for three seconds then started laughing while saying “I warned you”.

My heart was beating three times faster, I was hearing three voices in my head and I couldn’t see. I thought I had died and more tears flowed because I had not even achieved anything except get admitted to university and I did not plan to die like this.

I screamed asking whoever was listening if I was dead and I heard my friend’s voice saying you are not dead!
I shouted for my mom because at another point I thought I was home then I realized I wasn’t.


My friend tried to calm me down by making me sit on the bed first and letting me know she was real.
Meanwhile I was in my head fighting the three voices plus her own which made it four and confused on which one was real to actually follow.

I was tripping so bad.

My friend who was also stoned by the way was just there laughing so hard at my foolishness. At a point I laughed too, didn’t know if it was a genuine laugh or a panicked laugh but I laughed.

Then I started babbling, I told her about everything. School, relationships, friends and even explained my birthmark to her.
I was literally repeating everything the voices in my head were saying.
I then added, “I know I’m high and you’ll laugh at me when I’m alright” and that was the cherry on top, she bursted out laughing so loud almost attracting neighbors.


Finally I was able to sleep and that did more harm than good. I did not only hear the voices, I saw them.

You know when you rub your eyes for a long period of time and open them back, that static TV like image was literally what I was seeing in my sleep.
Then three floating blobs were the voices and I was immediately traumatized.

I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t, I was just trapped in my own mind still talking shit like the voices told me to.
Thankfully it later stopped and i slept properly.

Not long after in the middle of the night, hunger woke me up. I was feeling slightly better so I headed towards the kitchen with one aim which was to eat.
Luckily I had cooked spaghetti earlier so I took a huge portion and ate like a thief before going back to bed.

I woke up the next morning remembering every thing that happened last night.
I don’t know why people say you wont remember whatever you did while you were high, that is a deceitful and untrue statement. I remembered every single detail and was beyond embarrassed by it.

From that day forward I made a promise to myself - NEVER HAVE WHAT STONERS ARE HAVING.


Inviting @omosefe to participate in this contest with me.

It’s open to everyone, please follow this link to participate and show off your sense of humor!

all memes were created by me using this source


😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂...what did I just read😂😂😂😂...."Weed na Bastard"😭😭😭.... Lmaaoo...what were you thinking 😂😂....Green and Red stars🤣🤣🤣

My eyes were red from tears and highness. If anyone had brought weed to me after that day, I for kill somebody 🤣
I don’t know what I was thinking to smoke a whole one and a half blunt, knowing it was my first time o!

😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣....Your friend is all of us laughing hard at you...I would have recorded you...

You now woke up hungry 😂😂😂😂...sneaked to eat spag😂😂😂


What do mummies do on vacation?
They unwind.

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I and weed don't get along, I learnt that the hard... I would definitely have recorded you😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. You've been hearing don't do drugs since but you didn't listen and I'm betting even with this'll still not listen😂😂😂

Bold of you to assume!

Noooooooooooo😂😂, what were you thinking?! 😂😂😂😂

I really don't know 🤣

Lol 😆 🤣

You tagged me too, thank you. I'll check it out tomorrow.

Just seeing this. Yes please check it out, you might be interested, it's fun!

I sure will!

hehe JW everything becomes so vivid and colourful🤣🤣🤣🤣
I do feel for you!

Too vivid for me, plus I’m lightheaded so you could imagine 😂
Glad I survived.