The COMedy rumble: Don’t do drugs kids

in Comedy Open Mic2 years ago (edited)

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My head was spinning, I was in a frame of mind where all I could see were green and red stars, I could hear three voices in my head wanting me to say my deepest secrets, I was hungry as hell and I was terrified to my bones.

How the hell did I get here?
Weed.

The first time I ever smoked weed.

It was the day my stoner friend offered to pay me a sleepover visit. Of course she brought her weed materials to my house and I’m definitely not the judgmental friend so I did not stop her as long as it doesn’t disturb anyone.

Afterwards, she lit her evening joint and smoked it halfway before heading to shower. I don’t know what tempted me but I decided to give it a try. Knowing it’s my first time, she warned me not to finish the half blunt then left.

Well not only did I finish the half blunt because I felt it did nothing for the first few seconds but I lit another one and smoked the full thing.

Welp, typing this now I know how dumb that decision was.

I still felt nothing and was preparing to brag to my friend when she comes out of the bathroom.
Until she came out and I saw a really strange figure, the figure began to multiply and were approaching towards me.
I tried to run but the problem was I could not feel my legs.

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I tried to calmly lay down but it felt like I was drowning so that was a bad idea.

Panic now entered the groupchat.

I screamed my friend’s name and the figure touched me and calmly asked what I did, I told her with tears in my eye how I finished the one and a half blunt. She looked at me dead in the eye for three seconds then started laughing while saying “I warned you”.

My heart was beating three times faster, I was hearing three voices in my head and I couldn’t see. I thought I had died and more tears flowed because I had not even achieved anything except get admitted to university and I did not plan to die like this.

I screamed asking whoever was listening if I was dead and I heard my friend’s voice saying you are not dead!
I shouted for my mom because at another point I thought I was home then I realized I wasn’t.

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My friend tried to calm me down by making me sit on the bed first and letting me know she was real.
Meanwhile I was in my head fighting the three voices plus her own which made it four and confused on which one was real to actually follow.

I was tripping so bad.

My friend who was also stoned by the way was just there laughing so hard at my foolishness. At a point I laughed too, didn’t know if it was a genuine laugh or a panicked laugh but I laughed.

Then I started babbling, I told her about everything. School, relationships, friends and even explained my birthmark to her.
I was literally repeating everything the voices in my head were saying.
I then added, “I know I’m high and you’ll laugh at me when I’m alright” and that was the cherry on top, she bursted out laughing so loud almost attracting neighbors.

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Finally I was able to sleep and that did more harm than good. I did not only hear the voices, I saw them.

You know when you rub your eyes for a long period of time and open them back, that static TV like image was literally what I was seeing in my sleep.
Then three floating blobs were the voices and I was immediately traumatized.

I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t, I was just trapped in my own mind still talking shit like the voices told me to.
Thankfully it later stopped and i slept properly.

Not long after in the middle of the night, hunger woke me up. I was feeling slightly better so I headed towards the kitchen with one aim which was to eat.
Luckily I had cooked spaghetti earlier so I took a huge portion and ate like a thief before going back to bed.

I woke up the next morning remembering every thing that happened last night.
I don’t know why people say you wont remember whatever you did while you were high, that is a deceitful and untrue statement. I remembered every single detail and was beyond embarrassed by it.

From that day forward I made a promise to myself - NEVER HAVE WHAT STONERS ARE HAVING.

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Inviting @omosefe to participate in this contest with me.

It’s open to everyone, please follow this link to participate and show off your sense of humor! https://peakd.com/hive-164166/@comedyopenmic/the-comedy-rumble-announcement-the-listnerds-edition--90-hive--50-hbd-and-more-in-rewards

all memes were created by me using this source

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😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂...what did I just read😂😂😂😂...."Weed na Bastard"😭😭😭.... Lmaaoo...what were you thinking 😂😂....Green and Red stars🤣🤣🤣

My eyes were red from tears and highness. If anyone had brought weed to me after that day, I for kill somebody 🤣
I don’t know what I was thinking to smoke a whole one and a half blunt, knowing it was my first time o!

😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣....Your friend is all of us laughing hard at you...I would have recorded you...

You now woke up hungry 😂😂😂😂...sneaked to eat spag😂😂😂

!LOL

What do mummies do on vacation?
They unwind.

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(1/8)

I and weed don't get along, I learnt that the hard... I would definitely have recorded you😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. You've been hearing don't do drugs since but you didn't listen and I'm betting even with this experience..you'll still not listen😂😂😂

Bold of you to assume!

Noooooooooooo😂😂, what were you thinking?! 😂😂😂😂

I really don't know 🤣

Lol 😆 🤣

You tagged me too, thank you. I'll check it out tomorrow.

Just seeing this. Yes please check it out, you might be interested, it's fun!

I sure will!

hehe JW everything becomes so vivid and colourful🤣🤣🤣🤣
I do feel for you!

Too vivid for me, plus I’m lightheaded so you could imagine 😂
Glad I survived.