in Comedy Open Mic10 months ago

Edited with PicsArt

One of the most stressful things about University, if not the most stressful, is examinations.
The entire semester leads uly to them and they more or less decide your fate in that school.

Most of the people reading this are students or have been students, so you probably already have an idea of how examinations go and for those that don't know or have forgotten, I have come here to traumatize you/give you PTSD.

Today, I am going to be writing about an examination from the point of view of an average student, so buckle up because it is going to be a painful ride.


POV: you.

Your alarm rings out, the cheerful tone breaking the silence of the early morning.
It didn't ring for long because you were already awake.
how could you sleep?
Today is the examination of your toughest course.

And it's not as if you didn't try to sleep, you did, but a nightmare of you getting an F woke you up and you've been awake since then.

Your eye twitches and you look at the cup of coffee near you.
At this point, your blood is half coffee and energy drinks.
You're so tired and the bags under your eyes are big enough to pack clothes for a vacation.

It feels like your brain is full, what more can you read?
The new information you're assimilating seems to push out the old one already in your head.

You decide to give up.
You look at the time... one hour before exam starts, you have to prepare.

After preparation, you set out for the exam Hall.

As you're walking, you start to pray.
You haven't prayed in a while but it's like this course has restored your faith in God.

A couple of minutes later, you find yourself in the hall, waiting for the question paper.
You look around,
everyone looks normal, no one is freaking out, so you decide to act calm too.

You're in the middle row.
The question starts getting passed from the first row and you hear gasps and "omo" from students in front of you.

The class genius sitting some seats away puts his hands on his head.

You're doomed.

Or maybe not, maybe you're just panicking,
how bad could it be?

The question paper gets to you.

it's very bad.

you look at the instructions.

"Answer question one and three other questions"

You look at question one.

Looks like you'll disobey instructions today because what is this.

there's still hope,
you check the remaining questions and then you bring out your calculator.

Some people look at you with admiration,
impressed that you've already started calculating the questions

They didn't know that you were just calculating your potential scores to know whether you will carryover or not.

"So if I answer 2a and 5c, and maybe I can answer some little questions from number 4, then I can pass"

This was what was going through your head.
You hoped adrenaline and inshallah would help you enough.

So you started writing,
after 15 minutes of writing, you were done.
The exam was 3 hours long, but you already wrote all the things you knew in 15 minutes.

you're screwed.

You sat there, pretending to think, pretending to ruminate.

You use style to look around at other students.
They're still writing

What did these people read?
you ask yourself

1 hour passed and you've turned the question paper 22 times, but you still can't write anything.

You see some drops fall on your paper
you don't know whether it's sweat or tears

"God abeg"
you mutter to yourself

Another hour passed and someone asked for extra sheet

You ask yourself if you're the one that's dumb

2 more people ask for extra sheet

your question is answered
you're dumb

you considered cheating, then you remembered that friend of yours that was rusticated Last semester so you remove that from your mind.

even if you wanted to cheat,
how would you?

The invigilators spaced you all as if COVID still existed

"30 minutes more!" the invigilator shouted.

Will you fail this course?

You start having flashbacks of how you said you'll get first class GPA this semester


"10 minutes more!"

You accept your fate, and you cross check your script, you can't afford to make mistakes in the little you've written.

"3 minutes more!"

You stand up and walk with confidence to submit.
Even if you did shit in the exam, no one needs to know that...

You stroll majestically to the invigilator and drop your script with finesse.
And then you leave the exam Hall with gravitas.

After a while, students come pouring out.
They're discussing answers to questions you couldn't answer.
You even heard one fool say "I answered everything, but I'm not too sure of 4c"

The bastard.
Was he mocking you?

He probably wasn't but you couldn't take it anymore.
You pick your shame and start to walk home to go drink caprisun and watch anime,
you deserve to rest.

As you were walking, someone said the answer to a question was in the textbook and it was definitely 34.5

You answered that question,
didn't you get -2570....

ah well,
maybe you'll go beg the lecturer.

Screw examinations.



I hope with this, I have been able to traumatize/awaken your trauma.
And to any of you reading that examinations were always easy for you,
Screw you, y'all ain't better than us.

Thank you for reading.

Stay buzzing,



Today, I am going to be writing about an examination from the point of view of an average student

I stopped reading here because I was never an average student


Na you be boss, my boss🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️

Examination is what you think it is. For me, it is just a revision class that one has to play a video, trying to recollect that happened in the class.

All you gurus whey dey comment under my posts

I fear una o

Be like say na only me no ask for extra sheet 😭😭

Ahahahah. There were times when I didn't use half the pages on the answer script.